Film Review: Passengers

"There's A Reason We Woke Up Early..."

If ever were a movie to put off its' audience by sheer propaganda-esque exploitation, then Passengers is it, a movie advertised within the inch of its' life within every single cinema screening over the past four months or so, and a movie which seems to be once again a case of revealing too much to be a true success as a two-hour spectacle instead of a two-minute preview. With two of most bankable acting talents at the moment leading the way in the form of Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt, Passengers, directed by Morten Tyldum of The Imitation Game alongside a story by Prometheus and Doctor Strange screenwriter Jon Spaihts, is a traditionally cheesy sci-fi romance, one which gains kudos for attempting to subvert its' narrative giveaways within its' trailers with a nice juicy twist to get the film going, but ultimately succumbs to its' fundamental 12A-ness and becomes yet another flashy yet forgettable piece of cinema.

Following in the footsteps of Allied recently, a similarly forgettable tale which just happened to feature top-end A-List actors, Passengers suffers primarily from a saccharin-sweet filled narrative at its' core, one which above all, results in the concluding act of the movie being one hard not to shout "Cheese!" at, with a cliched resuscitation scene being the heart of such of a problem. Whilst Lawrence and Pratt have some decent on-screen chemistry, the absurdness of their celebrity appearance throughout the movie (Not one pixel of make-up is out of place) creates a difficulty in taking in the apparent science fiction notions the film attempts to lay on its' audience, with obvious nods to Interstellar, Alien, Solaris, Moon and even The Shining putting the film in danger of being just a reel of scenes from better and more memorable productions. Whilst there are a wide range of issues with Passengers, the inherent friendliness makes it somewhat suitable for this particular period of the year, yet its' plain-sailing approach sadly just won't make it past the month as something memorable, a shame when considering the talent on display. Also, what was the point of hiring Andy Garcia? HE DOES NOTHING. Merry Christmas.

Overall Score: 5/10

Film Review: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story - BLACK RIBBON'S 400th POST!!!

"We Have Hope. Rebellions Are Built On Hope..."

In a year in which summer blockbusters have been somewhat below par, and that's putting it nicely, we close 2016 with another venture into the galaxy far, far away, with Rogue One attempting to bridge the gap between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope with a merry mix of old and new characters and a storyline which delves into the theft of the infamous death star plans, the red herring-esque of a plot device which paved way for the entire Star Wars universe. With Gareth Edwards on directorial duty, the man behind Monsters and the rather awesome recent reinterpretation of Godzilla, Rogue One is a much darker and melancholic tale than perhaps we have seen previously in the Star Wars canon but one which also contains the adventurous thrill ride we have come to expect, culminating in a final act which ranks up there with the best visual experiences not only in the Star Wars universe but in the variety of blockbusters within the modern era of cinema. 

Although narratively Rogue One begins in a striking sense of anti-climax in comparison to other Star Wars movies, we are swiftly introduced to Jyn Erso, a disconnected wanderer who is captured by the rebellion in order to help seek out her father Galen (Mads Mikkelsen) who is at the heart of a mysterious weapon development for the pre-A New Hope Galactic Empire, ruled over by the key figures of Ben Mendelsohn's Director Krennic, a digital reincarnation of Peter Cushing's Tarkin and of course, the menacing Sith Lord, Darth Vader, whose appearances are brief but terrifyingly effective. When Rogue One eventually kicks into gear around the half hour mark, the sense of joy many fans get from re-watching the classic original adventures fuels the journey into a truly classic tale of outlandish planets, wildly inventive alien beings and enough canon nods to leave fans beaming with joy. With Felicity Jones embracing the lead role of Jyn as a mix of Lara Croft and Princess Leia herself, she inevitably has the meatiest role of the movie alongside undeveloped performances from the likes of Mikkelsen, Whitaker and Diego Luna but the real magic of the movie is in its' fan appreciation, answering questions the canon has had for decades and proving the Star Wars universe is an endless pit of cinematic possibilities, particularly when they are as successful as Rogue One. 

Overall Score: 8/10  

Black Ribbon's Worst Films of 2016

Worst Films of 2016

The yearly sound of festive Christmas greetings brings with it the annual delight of Black Ribbon's year in review for film, a must on everyone's list to Santa, and to begin this year's activities we look back at the very worst 2016 has had to offer on the big-screen, not only to get the big bad stuff out of the way first but also due to the fact that with only two weeks left of the year, I cannot see any other film replacing the movies that unfortunately have had the bad luck to land on such a list, a list which ranges from shoddy blockbusters to sloppy sequels, from crappy comic adaptations to sleep-inducing symbolical thrillers and a list which features one of the very worst films of the past decade. So, in the words of Jules Winnfield in Pulp Fiction, "let's get into character" and examine the very worst films us here at Black Ribbon have had to sit through throughout the course of 2016...

10. Suicide Squad

We begin the countdown with perhaps one of the messiest excuses for a summer blockbuster in recent history, a film which had a certain amount of positive hype after its' interesting trailer yet fell flat on its' face come release date. With awful storytelling and less than one-dimensional characters at the heart of it, David Ayer's Suicide Squad was a resounding flop, one which suffered from a wide range of much publicised problems such as mandatory re-shoots and a complete change of style due to the success of Deadpool, resulting in the fate of the DC Universe being left completely open to opinion. Should Marvel be quaking in fear of its' comical rival? Not. One. Bit. With even more films next year continuing the franchise you can only hope it only gets better. It can't get much worse. 

9. Zoolander 2

Beginning the foray of sequels that not only were bog awful but were really not necessary at all is Zoolander 2, the follow up to Ben Stiller's 2001 comedy which continues the tale of the simple-minded fashion mega-star which not only contains perhaps the worst set of celebrity cameos ever seen in a movie (Cumberbatch, what are you doing?) but also suffers from the fundamental issue of being a comedy which ultimately isn't funny at all. Where the first had a slight sense of charm and a selection of annoyingly quotable gags, Zoolander 2 instead features a ridiculous and wholly boring storyline which cranks its' way into submission in order to try and give the movie a reason for existing aside from the obvious financial possibilities. Where the first had David Bowie, Zoolander 2 has Justin Bieber and that in itself is a prime of example of why the movie sucks. Big time.

8. Batman V. Superman

Of the two releases from the DC Universe this year, Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice was undoubtedly a shocker. Two and a half hours of a slumbering narrative which attempts not only to find a solid rationale for the titular battle but also its' attempt to set up the basis of the upcoming extended universe is the heart of the movies' problem alongside dull, uninspiring CGI and performances that range from Henry Cavill's solemn-looking Clark Kent to Jesse Eisenberg's OTT Lex Luthor, a portrayal which takes all the good things about his performance in The Social Network and ramps it up way past eleven, becoming incredibly irritating whenever he's on screen. Where Suicide Squad was similarly terrible, BvS was undoubtedly worse for one reason; it should have been a riveting success particularly when Ben Affleck was actually quite good but instead we can all acknowledge Zak Snyder perhaps isn't the man to lead DC to cinematic glory. 

7. Now You See Me 2

Yet another pointless sequel which bears all the hallmarks of the blueprint for utter cinematic failure. Awful storytelling? Correct, with the concluding twist making not one bit of sense whatsoever and the films' narrative being so ridiculous it wouldn't be amiss in an episode of Scooby Doo. Terrible characters? Oh yeah, particularly when admiring the terrible decision to allow the screenwriters to include the Jar Jar Binks of modern cinema with Woody Harrelson's creepy twin brother being skull-shatteringly awful. If it wasn't for how loud the film was in its' respective screening my many dozes throughout the film may have transcended into outright REM sleep, a position which in no way would have risked the chance of seeing anything remotely interesting on-screen. Please, no more CGI magic, I've had my share. 

6. Point Break

The real horror of this years' Point Break is now having to say "you mean the original?" whenever anyone asks if I've seen it. I mean come on Hollywood, why on Earth does this movie even exist? Where Katheryn Bigelow's 1991 was a movie based on testosterone-filled action set pieces and a bromance so contagious you would be excuse for thinking it was actually a romantic drama, with surfing, the 2016 version features nothing of which made the original so fantastic. A dull storyline with dull characters fitted together with dull action set pieces and this years' Point Break was a real drag to endure. Adding to the insult too was the decision to reenact some of the original film's most iconic images, not only reminding you how good the original actually is but also making you gag at the thought of more inevitable pointless remakes that will be released in the near future. 

5. The Forest

Perhaps sticking to what you do best should have been the advice for Natalie Dormer, formerly of Game of Thrones of course, and although broadening the acting pallet is chalk and cheese of Hollywood these days, The Forest is not quite the shining example of riveting success it might have been in another universe. What makes it so bad? It's a horror which isn't scary and primarily relies on the cheap thrill of jump scares which don't make you jump whilst the doppleganger/twin sister narrative twist at the heart of the film doesn't really make any sense whatsoever when picked apart. In a year of dull blockbusters, The Forest is the one A-List movie which was destined for straight-to-video goodness. Unforunately for Dormer and co., it's so much worse. 

4. Inferno

Ron Howard. Tom Hanks. Felicity Jones. What could possibly go wrong? Oh yeah, it's a Dan Brown adaptation of course. Whilst symbology, ancient hidden clues and a genocidal virus could be classed as the basis for adventure, Inferno is an A-Z in cinematic narcolepsy. Continuing the theme of The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, Ron Howard's latest is a confusing, shoddy dramatic tale of Dante, memory loss and the end of the world which embraces the notion that if the movie doesn't slow down, the audience can't decipher the truly pants storytelling at heart. Although the twist wasn't expected, due in part to being asleep through most of the film's first half, Inferno includes the most anti-climatic conclusion seen in recent history with a disease filled plastic bag at the heart of it. That's right, a flippin' carrier bag.

3. Independence Day: Resurgence

Yet another terrible excuse for a sequel that really, no-one was crying out for, particularly when twenty years has passed since the original and particularly when in an era where CGI-fuelled blockbusters tend to be actually quite boring, Independence Day: Resurgence is a movie which takes all the worst bits and mushes them into two hours of a laboured and depressingly dull disaster. With recurring actors from the first, aside from Will Smith, seemingly only popping up for the pay cheque and an uninspired choice of younger actors, Resurgence lacks the charm, thrill and general popcorn feel of the 1996 original, resorting to cheap, over-the-top digital effects instead of a narrative and effective characterisation. And still, it isn't the worst film of the year. 

2. London Has Fallen

Unfortunately for Gerard Butler, the two worst films of the year features his majestic Scottish talent and whilst Butler has managed to do some half-decent stuff in his career so far, London Has Fallen is instead up there with the worst he has had to offer. Although not entirely his fault, this xenophobic, ultra-violent mess of a movie is truly terrible from beginning to end, featuring Butler at his most gruesome as well as a plot so intergalactically stupid it is truly surprising to see it actually managed to get past the drawing board. The only good thing about the horror of London Has Fallen is that a sequel surely cannot follow but looking back at 2016, it's fair to say stranger things have happened indeed. 

1. Gods of Egypt

And here we are at last, the Battlefield Earth of the past decade and indeed the worst film of the year by quite a distance. Although director Alex Proyas is renowned for interesting, cult-esque movies in his early career such as The Crow and Dark City, Gods of Egypt is not worthy of viewership by any means. Aside from being perhaps the most toe-curling two hours of cinema I can remember, Proyas has created a movie so stupid, so pathetic in its' attempts at creating something resembling a historical narrative that Gods of Egypt can't even be excused of being a movie so bad it's actually good. Although Butler isn't in the leading role, his performance is still part of the systematic weakness at the heart of the movie with oak-soaked wooden portrayals across the board whilst the CGI is put to shame by even the most basic of effects seen on the worst television has to offer. There is no hiding it, Gods of Egypt is an epic disaster and will be at the forefront of worst movie lists of recent times for years to come but for now, it's just the worst film of 2016. Let's see what next year has to offer. 

Next Time: Best Films of the Year -Part One!

Film Review: Snowden

"Terrorism Is Just An Excuse..."

A dramatic tale of one of the most controversial figures in recent history you say? Who shall we bring on as director for that then? Oliver Stone of course, the man renowned for shall we say, colourful political views but more importantly probably the right man for the job when admiring his previous work such as the renowned Vietnam trilogy which included Platoon and Born on the Forth of July, both of which supplied Stone with Oscar wins, as well as his work on astute US political dramas such as JFK and Nixon. Although the Oscar winning documentary Citizenfour provided an in-depth examination of Edward Snowden and his role as the notorious whistle-blower, Stone's dramatisation of similar events features Joseph Gordon-Levitt in the titular role, alongside a strange rafter of familiar faces such as Timothy Olyphant, Tom Wilkinson and Nicholas Cage who come and go in less-than supporting roles. If the man at the centre of the movie wasn't so darn interesting, Snowden could have been in danger of being a sour, cold drama, yet with a top performance from Gordon-Levitt, Snowden is a interesting, if rather overlong, political drama. 

Where the film is in its' most interesting is scenes in which we delve into the technological aspect of Snowden's past, whether it be hidden away in some James Bond-esque spy cave in Hawaii or hiding under a false name in the metropolitan sprawl of Geneva, yet Stone is also interested in the personal side of Snowden, giving us an in-depth examination of his relationship with partner Lindsay Mills (Divergent series' Shailene Woodley) and the strain put on such by his classified occupation. Unfortunately for Stone, this aspect of the film is undoubtedly the weakest and therefore becomes an issue when at least two-thirds of the drama is focused upon such instead of the more interesting, political issues that Stone is renowned for taking more of an interest in. Throughout the course of the drama, the movie does seep into frank ridiculousness, particularly when Snowden is greeted to the pantomime silliness of the enlarged face of an angry Rhys Ifans, a scene in which it was hard to not laugh at the sheer OTT nature of Stone's decision to enforce a higher level of dramatisation than the already interesting storyline needed. Snowden is overlong, silly and boring at times but with the one-two of Gordon-Levitt and Woodley attempting to do the most with what they can, the film does work on some level, just not the level the pedigree of Stone should be settling for. 

Overall Score: 6/10

Film Review: The Edge of Seventeen

"I Am An Old Soul. I Like Old Movies And Old Music. Even Old People...!"

I know the feeling. As one of the minorities who believe they were born in the completely wrong era, The Edge of Seventeen is one of those fantastical coming-of-age comedies in which relating with the leading lady is simple. A conflicted socially awkward teen who believes the current social strata is one of isolation and technological addiction could sum up Hailee Steinfield's Nadine, a high-school junior who fails completely at fitting in with the modern crowd and unfortunately loses her best friend after she catches her sleeping with her brother. Ouch indeed. The Edge of Seventeen works on a wide range of levels, no more so than Steinfield herself, who after her star-making performance in the Coen's remake of True Grit, embraces the film's lead role in her stride and creates a character so effortlessly likeable, the fact that she appears in every shot of the movie makes it an enjoyable ride into the ambiguity of modern youthfulness once again. 

Whilst the perilous teen conflicts at the heart of The Edge of Seventeen aren't entirely organic, the rather understated nature of the narrative helps to inflict a sense of realism into the drama associated around Nadine, with her brother, played by Everybody Wants Some!! star Blake Jenner, seemingly at the heart of the main issues, a problem many siblings across the globe can relate to. Adding a level of droll humour to the proceedings, Woody Harrelson's portrayal of Nadine's teacher-comfort is a quaint addition, one which allows our heroine to find comfort in the heart of someone much older yet someone who understands her completely. Strangely enough, the 15 rating plastered on the movie will unfortunately dissuade most of the audience the movie is attempting to connect with, yet The Edge of Seventeen is indeed one of the more heartwarming additions to the big screen at the moment and when put up against the likes of Office Christmas Party, it's Annie Hall. On its' own however, The Edge of Seventeen isn't exactly in that particular pedigree but it is still is a worthy addition to the genre. 

Overall Score: 7/10

Film Review: Office Christmas Party

"Hey Santa! Wanna Party...?"

So here it is, Merry Christmas! Everybody's having fun, look to the future now... Okay, time to stop. The annual season of mass consumerism, wasted mince pies and cheesy red jumpers is upon us and where Christmas follows, so does certain inevitabilities; last ditch shopping, the Doctor Who special and of course, the release of cheesy Christmas movies. Picking up the slack this year is Office Christmas Party, a seasonal comedy which adheres to the blueprint of many before it by squeezing as many famous faces as possible into the mix in the hope that the glowing smile of Jennifer Aniston can take the audience's attention away from the dire script holding it together. Although not entirely terrible in the backlog of awful comedies, Office Christmas Party is pretty much a 90 minute booze-fest, one which not only has the cringey themes of sexism, toilet humour and general awfulness of party culture films such as Project X and The Hangover, but also adds cheesy, wooden narratives that unfortunately are created to collide with the seasonal nature of the film. Did the film get me ready for Christmas though? No. No. No.

With these types of movies it is strikingly obvious that deep thought and some sort of underlying themes are completely absent, with the main goal of course being that sweet sound of a cash register, and whilst Office Christmas Party isn't the first movie to abide by these rules, and undoubtedly won't be the last, you could be forgiven for thinking it might be a complete stinker. The harsh truth however is that Office Christmas Party isn't even that, it's just passable fluff, fluff which will bound to suit a certain breed of audience but for me, does nothing at all except wishing I was watching It's A Wonderful Life instead. After his rather cracking performance in The Gift, it's a real shame to see Jason Bateman return to easy ground whilst Kate McKinnon attempts to continue her reputation as the kooky linchpin of the movie after her performance in the recent Ghostbusters remake. If this is the type of movie Christmas will continue to offer, I might just hibernate through next years' annual festivities but at the same time, at least we have Star Wars to look forward to. 

Overall Score: 4/10 

TV Review: Westworld - Series One SEASON FINALE "The Bicameral Mind" SPOILERS

"It Begins With The Birth Of A New People, The Choices They'll Have To Make And The People They Will Decide To Become..."

Wow. What an incredible ending to an absurdly addictive series, a series which although left many shell-shocked at how wildly barmy the many entwining narratives became week after week, was undoubtedly a solid thumbs up from those masters of TV up at HBO headquarters. Whilst the success has brought up a wholly inevitable chance to continue into a second series, Westworld needs to follow the continued quality of previous shows including the likes of Game of Thrones, The Wire, The Sopranos etc., in order to become a true exquisite piece of serialised television. What does the future hold for Westworld? Well let's start with THAT final scene, a concluding set piece which not only allowed the show-runners to show their hands regarding underlying plot threads but a scene which everyone had been wanted for since the start of the show. A host uprising. These violent delights have violent ends indeed. 

Where to begin? Obviously the headline resolutions of the final episode was the real nature of Ford's new host narrative, one which confirmed his true intentions all along, a guilt-inflicted belief that ultimately allowed the hosts to become free from the control of their masters, concluding in the massacre of the top-end controllers of the park including Ford who died at the hands of Delores in a manner which could only be regarded as the final piece in the puzzle for the elderly and guilt-stricken genius. With Ford gone, we unfortunately have to say farewell to the supreme acting talents of Anthony Hopkins whose portrayal of Dr. Ford was one of the best things of the show, a mysteriously and intentionally ambiguous figure who although seemed cold and calculated for one of the humans on park, became a figure of sadness and regret come the concluding realisation of Arnold, a death in which Ford felt partially responsible. 

Of the many other endpoints for the many narratives in the show, The Man in Black was finally confirmed to be the elderly figure of William, a theory which was coined by many weeks ago, and thus complimented the finalising of the Delores arc, one which showed her as the murderous figure of Wyatt as well as the true nature of the maze, a effective macguffin which was revealed simply as the final stage of true consciousness for Delores. The symbolic nature of Ford handing the toy maze to Bernard just before his death was timely in acknowledging Ford's true ideals as it was lost on The Man in Black/William who simply could not understand its' meaning after his long search for answers. As for TMIB, a bullet to the arm and a smile on his face was the concluding shot of such a character with the realisation that the game had well and truly been turned up to eleven, fulfilling the wishes of a man who believed Westworld was meant for something more. Westworld has been a riveting success, a confusing, addictive, violent and thought-provoking drama which was as annoying as it was delightful with its' rafter of intertwining narratives, a normality in the hands of Johnathan Nolan, who has made Westworld his own little baby. Although the wait until more Westworld is excruciating, with 2018 being the set date for the second series premiere, Nolan's series is one of the rare cases in which you could watch all ten episodes again and take a million different things from it, a blueprint for success if ever there was one. 

Episode Score: 10/10

Series Score: 8.45/10