Film Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge

"Find Jack Sparrow For Me And Relay A Message From Captain Salazar. Tell Him: Death Will Come Straight For Him..."

Praise be and grab your rum of choice, it is indeed that time once again. After believing that the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise had sailed its' last sail with On Stranger Tides, a third sequel to Curse of the Black Pearl, Disney's flagship theme park based series swiftly returns this week with Salazar's Revenge or perhaps, Dead Men Tell No Tales, depending on where exactly you will be spending your hard earned cash in order to witness the newest CGI orgy of famous actors dressing up like second year university students hitting the town and pretending to act serious when shouting "arghhh" and battling invisible, digitally created cannon fodder, all of whom are eager for disposal by death. Holding my frightfully cynical tone for a moment, the release of Salazar's Revenge might controversially be the film which reinvents my opinion of the gargantuan series, and even with expectations as low as the depths of the pacific ocean, the addition of Norwegian directorial pair Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg alongside the ever reliable presence of Javier Bardem is a cause for cautious optimism, particular with the latter's ability to carry off a damn fine villain when necessary. Inevitably, Salazar's Revenge instead is yet just another CGI-fuelled bore-fest, one which trades set pieces for narrative and acting ability for budget costs within a skin peeling two hours which confirms the series has indeed sunk to the depths of mediocrity without any sign of resuscitation aboard.

Whilst the film centrally is based around the retrieval of a mysterious object which breaks every and any curse laced upon the many characters within the Pirates universe, Salazar's Revenge also has to try and squeeze in the titular character's quest for violent justice, with Javier Bardem's CGI-masked villain setting his sights on the figure of Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow, a Captain Jack Sparrow who has seemingly worsened in every subsequent movie, resulting in a performance which has increasingly become a caricature of itself in an almost cringe-like fashion. With a script which is laced with cheesy and ear-grating dialogue, Depp has finally managed to confirm that his time in the spotlight as the world's worst pirate must finally come to some sort of a dignified end, and whilst the inclusion of Orlando Bloom and a completely silent Keira Knightley could leave some fans jumping for joy, the return of their respective characters adds absolutely nothing to the overall enjoyment of the movie. Alongside some terrible sound editing and a complete lack of threat, Salazar's Revenge is unsurprisingly a meaningless, dull affair, one which continues the woeful track record of blockbusters this year and a film which rivals David Beckham for worst cameo of the year so far. I mean, Paul McCartney, what are you thinking? 

Overall Score: 3/10

TV Review: Doctor Who Series 10 Episode Seven - "The Pyramid at the End of the World"

"Do You Consent?"

Whilst the linchpin of Classic Doctor Who serials was a continual spread of episodes spread around the basis of one particular story, with the likes of "The War Games", "Trial of a Time Lord" and "The Dalek's Master Plan" each breaking the ten episode mark in order to completely fulfil their narrative wishes without any cause for constraint aside from a slight echo of inevitable bagginess. For contemporary Who audiences, the idea of one particular story playing over the course of months is a notion of indirect ignorance even if now and then we get an entire series which has a through-line of a narrative which attempts to link certain elements all together within stories which are primarily one-off and unrelated to the bigger picture, beginning with Bad Wolf all the way back in series one and carrying through with plot threads including the inclusion of Torchwood, the appearance of Harold Saxon and the cracks in time which cropped up across Matt Smith's debut series. With "Extremis" last week, the continuation of that particular tale carries on this week with "The Pyramid at the End of the World" in a supposed trilogy of stories which will seemingly conclude next week, and whilst "Extremis" was an interesting precursor to the story ahead, does this weeks episode continue its' groundwork success?

In a nutshell? Yes, and whilst the episode does include elements which are utterly preposterous and epic in stature, the bare bones of the story is rather straightforward and grounded, with The Doctor being at the centre of an impossible situation in which the separate parties around him each have differing points of view on survival. With the enemies once again being the creepy, robe wearing monks, their plan for world domination continues by using the one thing that forces any human being into rash decisions; fear, choosing the knowledge of foresight as the pawn in their domineering game of megalomania and control, whilst The Stand-esque subplot involving a mass outbreak of murderous biological material concludes with the Doctor's sight returning for the time being, but at what cost? Although the twists and turns regarding Bill's survival during her submission to the monks was rather obvious when it eventually occurred, the Doctor's predicament when locked in the airlock with a detonating explosive device was effectively played, using the element of his blindness to a nerve-wracking degree which in the end has set up the play for the final endgame which is set to conclude next week. If ever there was evidence for supplying fans with longer stories into the future, these past two weeks are a strong chip to play with, 

Overall Score: 8/10

Film Review: Snatched

"What I Need Is An Amazing Adventure..."

In a world where American comedy is usually as effective as a chocolate teapot, Amy Schumer undeniably is up there with the worst that particular side of the continent has delivered over the course of the past few years, with her venture onto the big screen with releases such as Trainwreck burdening millions with her screechy Americanised tones and hysterically dull sensibility which really doesn't compute with my idea of an effective comedic personality, particularly in a day and age in which memorable comedies are quite hard to find. Co-starring this week in Snatched with Hollywood legend Goldie Hawn, mother of Kate Hudson and partner to the awesomely cool Kurt Russell, Schumer once again proves that her particular brand of comedy just doesn't work within the cinematic atmosphere, resulting in a performance which ultimately solidifies the notion of her inability to create laughs through a tired and cliche-ridden narrative which attempts to turn the vulgarity up to eleven in order to distract the audience from the utter boredom which encompasses the events on-screen. Goldie Hawn, what on Earth are you doing in this movie? I guess a gas bill must be due sometime soon. Ker-ching indeed.

After being dumped by her rock and roll boyfriend, Schumer's unbelievably annoying leading character decides to make the most of her pre-planned trip to South America by inviting her feline-loving mother (Goldie Hawn) with a penchant for over-protection and questionable sculpturing techniques. Cue loud and completely unnecessary scenes of alcoholism, party music and nudity, Snatched is the type of 21st century so-called "comedy" which adds to the argument that the good times have most definitely come and gone in regards to its' respective genre. Whilst Hawn seems to be there only for the sake of financial inducement, the film really doesn't paint a sympathetic picture of its' leading character, resulting in a warped sensibility which desires her captors to actually go through with their sickening plan and dispose of their prisoners as swiftly as possible. If this was indeed the case, the audience would have been spared from a 90 minute bore-fest whose only redeemable character is the poor U.S state department official who gets forced to help save their lives. Maybe next time mate, just forget the rescue and leave them to it. 

Overall Score: 3/10

TV Review: Doctor Who Series 10 Episode Six - "Extremis"

"You Seem Like A Man With Regret On His Mind..."

When the opening titles roll and the words, "written by Steven Moffat" appear upon the screen amidst whirling noises of theremins and the eyebrows of the Twelfth Doctor, the unwitting desire to wonder whether the next 45 minutes will either be in the camp of superb recent episodes such as "Blink", "The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances" and "Heaven Sent" or in the not-so-good area of stories such as "The Beast Below" and "The Bells of Saint John". Whilst Capaldi does seem to get the best out of Moffat's writing, due in part to an acting ability above the levels of which the mind can comprehend, this week's episode, "Extremis", is ultimately a lesser beast than the masterpieces Who fans have been treated to over the years but still a mindbogglingly brave and adventurous episode, the type of which is determined for the die-hard Who fans to watch much more than once in order to understand its' complete complexities and impact on the season's overall narrative endgame. Acting as a pre-cursor to the continuation of the story next week, "Extremis" answers an abundance of questions that have arisen from the series so far and unlike previous episodes, is a story primarily dedicated solely to Peter Capaldi's Doctor, something of which is rarely a missed opportunity. 

With an episode which veers everywhere from the Vatican to the Oval Office, "Extremis" is an interesting experimental episode of Doctor Who which takes ques from previous episodes such as "Dark Water/Death In Heaven" in regards to the use of artificial intelligence and the notion of the finality of death not exactly coming full circle, whilst the episode's main antagonists seem to cross wardrobes between the titular mummy from "Mummy on the Orient Express" and the Order of the Headless from "A Good Man Goes to War", exposing skinless fingers from intergalactic portals and conveying their desires through a whispered tone of eeriness. At the centre of the narrative is the Veritas, a supposed cursed text which leads to the death of anyone who reads it and whilst the twist and importance of this particular element is definitely something of which I can safely say I didn't see coming, it is hard to review "Extremis" as a singular episode because of the ambiguity of the ultimate conclusion which awaits us within the coming weeks. What "Extremis" does boast however is a interestingly spooky script and enough fan-pleasing elements to keep the majority of its' audience hyped for what's to come, even with the rather anti-climactic resolution of who indeed was the guest of the Doctor's sacred vault. 

Overall Score: 8/10

Film Review: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword

"I'm Not Getting Drawn Into This Mess! There's An Army Of You, There's Only One Of Me..!" 

Oh, Guy Ritchie. With a career which began with the promising flourish of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, the independently made British gangster flick which not only launched the career of everyone's favourite action star, Jason Statham, but was too a brilliantly audacious black comedy which included The Stone Roses on the soundtrack and Vinnie Jones as, well, Vinnie Jones, it seemed that ever since his much publicised mess of a marriage to Madonna, the "saviour" of all things cockney geezer went on an outstanding run of woeful cinematic failures, with the likes of Swept Away and Revolver being the two much maligned examples of Ritchie's failed promise. One divorce later and middling return to success with the Robert Downey Jr. led Sherlock Holmes movies, of which I can state to not being a massive fan of due to the success of the BBC led series at the time, Guy Ritchie returns once again to the limelight with yet another big-screen adaptation of the legend of King Arthur, utilising the skills of Sons of Anarchy and The Lost City of Z star, Charlie Hunnam, in the titular leading role in a movie which is as barmy and OTT as it is messy and overblown. Some would call it Snatch in kilts; who I am I to disagree?

After the death of both father and mother at the hands of Jude Law's power-hungry, megalomaniacal King Vortigern, Charlie Hunnam's Arthur Pendragon is raised from child to man in the heart of a slumber town brothel, taking ques from the criminal fraternity around him in order to build a reputation and presence of power with an ultimate goal of leaving for a better and more prosperous life. A touch of a sword and an god-awful David Beckham cameo later, the long lost King of Camelot is finally arisen, bringing with it ear-grating dialogue, stupidly dull action sequences and a swarm of yawn-inducing special effects which turns the latter half of the movie into some form of lifeless video game. Among these many issues, Ritchie's tenderness for the cockney geezer camaraderie is quite easily the worst element of the movie, with one scene in particular near the start of the movie in which our hero is forced to remember the day's events via flashback coming across as a somewhat Lock, Stock/Snatch parody sketch which literally left me draw-dropped at how misjudged and awfully ludicrous it seemed. Even with all these obvious issues, Legend of the Sword is the type of movie which although at times is trying to say the least, does offer a sense of "so bad its' good" in its' wacky sensibility which works in tandem with the campy hiss, boo performance of Jude Law as the film's main antagonist. Messy and narratively twisted, Ritchie's interpretation of the mighty King himself is a cinematic raspberry, but when put up against the likes of Unlocked and Sleepless recently, is a slightly enjoyable raspberry.

Overall Score: 5/10

Film Review: Miss Sloane

"You Crossed The Line When You Stopped Treating People With Respect. You're Smart Enough To Know That. You Just Don't Care..."

When it comes to my favourite actors and actresses of recent times, the iconic and wholly reliable face of Jessica Chastain is always a healthy sight to behold, due in part to her lavish and totally envious good looks (Healthy celebrity crush incoming) but of course mainly down to a wide range of countless superb performances in films such as her outstanding leading role in Zero Dark Thirty, Christopher Nolan's science fiction masterpiece Interstellar and Terrence Malick's slightly baffling, yet undeniably beautiful The Tree of Life, all of which have quickly turned Chastain into one of Hollywood's most productive and bankable leading stars.  With the release of Miss Sloane this week, the latest from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel director John Madden, Chastain once again is given the freedom to flex her incredibly versatile acting muscles, taking a tightly wound grip of leading character Elizabeth Sloane, an esteemed and frighteningly determined US lobbyist, and completely taking control within the confines of a narrative which is as gripping as it is infectiously ludicrous where although the movie's shark-jumping conclusion does threaten to ruin the smartly positioned groundwork which precedes it, is undoubtedly an enjoyable and vigorously entertaining political ride.

With a script from first time writer Jonathan Perera, one which moves along ever so efficiently and robustly and one which inevitably nods its' head to a wide range of modes of political escapism including the likes of House of Cards and The West Wing, the titular character of Elizabeth Sloane is indeed a cold and calculated amalgamation of Kevin Spacey's Frank Underwood and Peter Capaldi's conniving and spidery spin doctor, Malcolm Tucker, in the masterful Armando Iannucci led, The Thick of It, slipping her hands into a rafter of political pies in order to achieve what she desires most. Supported by the likes of Mark Strong, Michael Stuhlbarg and Belle star, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Madden's film travels between elements of tension, comedy and tight-knit drama, occupying a much needed space in the vacuum of below-par movies I have suffered in these last few weeks, and whilst the concluding act in which genetically configured insects and a cop-out resolution does come across way too immature and silly when considering the fundamental subject matter, Miss Sloane is a highly entertaining political drama which reinforces Jessica Chastain as the person you need to take your movie up an entire critical level.

Overall Score: 8/10

TV Review: Doctor Who Series 10 Episode Five - "Oxygen"

"You Sent Out A Distress Call, You Should Be Expecting Company..."

When half of the population of the UK tuned into BBC One last night to get ready for the upcoming Eurovision Song Contest, they probably would have witnessed a concluding scene of this week's Doctor Who which left our time travelling hero in a state which can only be regarded as less than desired after a 45 minute science fiction spectacle which mixed in elements of horror, capitalism and a very rare sense of unapologetic threat which put our leading heroes in one of the toughest situations of the series so far. With (SPOILERS INCOMING) our beloved Time Lord suffering from the effects of being exposed to the vacuum of space in order to save Bill from a similar or even worse fate, "Oxygen", written by Jamie Mathieson, the creative mind behind two of Series 8's best episodes in the form of "Flatline" and "Mummy on the Orient Express", served up the most thrilling story yet, placing our leading trio within the confines of a claustrophobic future space station where the crew have been replaced with a literal incarnation of the walking dead and the oxygen levels are determined by wealth rather than the importance of the human life. Cue a distress beacon and an eagerly excited Doctor, "Oxygen" proves that Mr. Mathieson is one of the leading writers of the moment when it comes to contemporary Who.

Directed by Who veteran Charles Palmer, "Oxygen" is arguably the most beautifully shot episode of the series so far, with the set design and outside shots of space a real positive of the episode, highlighting how far Doctor Who has come since the days of rubber Sea Devils and hokey dinosaur special effects. Whilst not directly the main villains of the episode, the scenes in which our heroes are being stalked by the deceased corpse's of the station's previous occupants is eerily effective, taking cues from previous Who episodes such as Series 9's "Under the Lake" and "Sleep No More" whilst the narrative structure of the Doctor being trapped aboard a lonely vessel is a blueprint of which many of the classic Who tales are wholly indebted to, particularly "The Ark in Space" and one of my personal classic serials in the form of "The Caves of Androzani". When the concluding twist does arrive, the notion of the Doctor's blindness is an interesting development, particularly with the upcoming regeneration not exactly far off, and in a similar vein to Peter Davison's regeneration within his final story, Capaldi's incarnation could be set for a slow burning regeneration within a series which continues to impress.

Overall Score: 8/10  

Film Review: Unlocked

"You Asked Me How Far I Would Go To Protect My Country. Whatever It Takes..."

It comes across wholly ironic that in a week in which we see the big budget release of Alien: Covenant, the sequel to 2012's Prometheus and a sequel in which does not include the wholly reliable face of Noomi Rapace who declined to participate, that the Swedish born actress turns up in Unlocked, an action-packed spy thriller directed by Michael Apted, perhaps most famous for the Pierce Brosnan led The World is Not Enough, and the type of movie which belongs entirely within the realms of straight-to-DVD mediocrity. Of course, the coincidental notion of these two films being released side by side might not mean anything whatsoever, but in terms of further advancing the career of Rapace, it doesn't exactly compute why such an esteemed actress chose Apted's laughably poor action raspberry of a movie rather than the Ridley Scott led sci-fi epic, a movie which although is nowhere near a masterpiece in its' own right, when put up against Unlocked comes across as some kind of 21st century work of art. With a cast which indeed includes the likes of Rapace, John Malkovich, Toni Collette, Michael Douglas and Orlando Bloom, yes, Orlando Bloom, Unlocked does boast an incredibly strong payroll but with a narrative which is woeful as it is unintentionally hilarious, Apted's latest is perhaps the least enjoyable time I've had with an action flick since, well, last week's Sleepless. Not exactly a strong week for films.

After stumbling into a double crossing, trust bending, terrorism plot, Noomi Rapace's shock-filled London based CIA agent is thrown violently back into the fold, shooting her way through building after building in order to establish the real play-makers behind a massive biological threat. Cue exposition galore, over-dramatic cameo performances and plot strands which edge of the side of cinematic malpractice, Apted's real ace in the hole comes in the form of Orlando Bloom who appears half way through the action, conveying the tattooed, grungy, untrustworthy ex-jarhead who enters with a gold pass into the hall of worst cockney accents ever alongside Don Cheadle and Dick Van Dyke who are there to keep him company in the ways of mastering the voice of the East-End. Not only does Bloom win the award for worst cameo of the year so far, his character ultimately is entirely inconsequential to the extent that his existence is some form of contractual agreement to allow Bloom to garner a quick pay check after seemingly disappearing into thin air over the past few years. Unlocked is obviously awful, and although the narrative does threaten to entertain around the twenty minute mark, Apted fails to hold such attentive themes and constructs an action flick so poor that you pray for the likes of Gareth Evans to direct every action movie ever from now on.

Overall Score: 3/10

Film Review: Alien: Covenant

"Is It All Worth It? To Start A New Life...?"

During last week's venture to witness Ridley Scott's 1979 science fiction masterpiece Alien on the big screen for the very first time as part of a special celebration and pre-amble of all things Xenomorph, this particular screening offered the chance to reconsider 2012's Prometheus too, a movie which although was impressive in terms of science fiction spectacle and scale, offering a wider insight into the history and lore of Scott's creation and of course a marvellous Michael Fassbender, suffers horrendously from a particularly immature narrative and dialogue which would rival George Lucas for worst science fiction babble. Whilst it is always great to watch historic films on the big screen once again, Prometheus still has a vast amount of problems and forms part of Ridley Scott's recent shabby record of cinematic releases which makes you wonder whether his early successes were part of some illustrious fluke, yet with a glass half full kind of mind, the release of Alien: Covenant is undeniably an exciting chance for Scott to finally get back on some sort of track, returning once again to a franchise which is as indestructible as it is financially bankable as well as offering closure to a prequel series which has threatened to cripple the legacy of a classic sci-fi series. 

So the question remains; is Covenant a success? With a superbly created world and some interesting narrative swings, held together by some great central performances and juicy scenes of exploitation violence, Scott's latest does boast some enjoyable elements to a degree, but with a messy screenplay and an overarching sense of "we've been here before", it is with a melancholic heart that Covenant can only be regarded a major letdown, with the film seemingly battling to offer healthy amounts of fan service, with the inclusion of the Xenomorph ironically not as thrilling and terrifying as previous incarnations, with the continuation of the story which began in Prometheus, with Michael Fassbender once again the star of the show as the driving force of a second-half narrative which only adds more questions than answers in a way which is extremely unrewarding and unsatisfying. This tug of war between Alien and Prometheus is the fundamental issue underlying the messy fashion in which the story plays out and if it wasn't for the impressive visual demeanour and enjoyable performances from Fassbender and Waterston respectively, Covenant could be regarded as the weakest entry the Alien franchise has offered up yet and whilst Scott's love for this world is undeniable, Covenant adds substance to the argument that maybe it is time to leave the series alone for good, but with the film's impressive ending, such a notion is seemingly far from materialising anytime soon.

Overall Score: 6/10

TV Review: Doctor Who Series 10 Episode Four - "Knock Knock"

"It's Upsetting, I Understand, But Father Says We Have To Survive..."

Listen closely. A spooky house. An abundance of creaky floorboards. A creepy landlord. Cheap rent. If ever there was a recipe for a good old fashioned Doctor Who episode, "Knock Knock", written by British playwright and lead writer and creator of BBC's Doctor Foster, Mike Bartlett, plays between the lines of horror and fantasy in a way in which the show knows how to do best and whilst once again this week's episode isn't exactly one of the more memorable contemporary Who episodes, it does manage to continue the solid start to a season which is determined to play it reasonably straight and offer light-hearted escapism rather than the mind-bending narratives previous stories have suffered from. Adding to the episode's lucid, creepy charm, Hercule Poirot himself, David Suchet, is arguably one of the most appealing elements of the story, portraying the eerie landlord of the overwhelmingly sinister building in which Bill and her fellow student acquaintances are more than happy enough to move into after numerous attempts of finding their own "dream" home, and whilst Suchet's character isn't prone to fits of murderous rampages, he does manage to portray the spookiest use of a tuning fork in recent memory.

Whilst the narrative does become rather too PG rated come the conclusion of the episode, with it having more of an effective pay-off to see the unfortunate victims of the house being well and truly dead and buried, as cold as that ultimately sounds, and the appearance of the main alien species being slightly underwhelming considering the gothic-based nature the episode attempts to convey, "Knock Knock" is an entertaining episode which unfortunately for the forty minutes which precedes it has a five minute conclusion which is slightly more interesting and compelling, with the vault in which the Doctor has been tasked with protecting, a plot strand which has been the through-line for the early episodes of the season, offering bite-sized clues for who indeed is the lucky guest with a penchant for classical piano and a hunger for food with a Mexican infusion. Keep up the good work Doctor Who, you are doing a good grand job so far. 

Overall Score: 8/10

Catch-Up Film Review: The Void

"Statistically You're More Likely To Die In A Hospital Than Anywhere Else..."

Directed by the one-two duo of Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski, filmmakers who are primarily known for being primary cogs in the wheel of Astron-6, a Canadian based production company renowned for creating primarily low-budget, retro-centred, independent movies which tend to be based around the genre of black comedy horrors, with perhaps its' biggest release to date being 2011's Fathers Day, a film based upon the vengeance fuelled hunt for a sadistic rapist and murderer, The Void, starring a relatively unknown cast including Aaron Poole and Daniel Fathers alongside the cult figure of Twin Peaks favourite, Kenneth Welsh, is an all-knowing and all-loving B-Movie splatter-fest which takes riffs from a wide spectrum of famous horror and monster movies and throws together them all together in a 90 minute bundle of surrealism and ropy, old-fashioned special effects which are as charming as they are downright peculiar. Whilst the narrative structure holding the movie together doesn't entirely work, with a concluding act in which aims particularly high but doesn't in the end hold together too well, The Void is a solid enough fan-fare which will impress the likes of horror genre geeks across the globe. 

After coming across an injured outsider from the idyllic and close-knit neighbourhood of which Aaron Poole's Daniel Carter is the local and well-known face of policing, The Void primarily takes place within the confines of the local hospital of which Kenneth Welsh's eerie Dr. Powell is the leading figurehead alongside Carter's ex-partner Kathleen Munroe and the inexperienced, rookie figure of Ellen Wong's Kim. After an array of events which include the appearance of a Wicker Man-esque cult, a Hellraiser inflicted monster marathon and a finale which is as baffling as it is bold, The Void struggles to contain its' excitement throughout the entire length of its' runtime, with the first act managing to have an effective mix of intrigue and suspense which runs parallel to a underlying thread of black humour which is brought on primarily by the retro design of the creatures which infest the movie primarily within a second act which does unfortunately being to lose steam come the hour mark. Independent and full of interesting elements, The Void may not be the most cinematic of releases this year, but for what it's worth, it's pretty darn fun. 

Overall Score: 6/10

Film Review: Sleepless

"Whatever You're Aiming At, Make Sure You're Prepared To Kill It..."

Whilst I enjoy B-Movie action trash as much as the next man, with a vast amount of films I consider to be my cinematic "guilty pleasures" each having an embedded sense of action-packed silliness at their very heart, Sleepless, directed by Swiss filmmaker Baran bo Odar and starring Jamie Foxx in the leading role is the type of bullet-ridden garbage which really makes you wonder whether any of the people involved in the creation of such a masterstroke of mediocrity really wanted to go through with its' release. With a sloppy and cliched narrative at its core, gridlocked around some god-awful dialogue and drowse inducing set pieces, Sleepless is an obvious and cheap attempt to recreate the recent success of films such as the underground sensibility of the first Taken movie and the gritty and violent representations of action in films such as John Wick and The Raid, but with nothing whatsoever original or interesting to note, Sleepless is a grade-A shipwreck of a movie which although isn't as head-bashing in retrospect, is still a film which makes The Rock look like Citizen Kane. 

After playing two sides of the law for almost two years in a supposed deeply disturbing and tension-filled undercover operation to bring down the top dogs of Las Vegas's drug scene, Jamie Foxx's Vincent Downs becomes a red-laced target for Dermot Mulroney's high-stakes businessman Stanley and Scoot McNairy's Rob Novak, a highly strung criminal drug-lord with serious daddy issues, after stealing a large quantity of cocaine with corrupt police officer partner Sean Cass, portrayed in almost non-existent fashion by the annoyingly named T.I. What follows for a seemingly never-ending 90 minutes is endless chase scenes, an overkill of unnecessary violence and one of the worst character introductions I have ever seen when Gabrielle Union's character is crow-barred into the concluding act in the most pitiful and woefully written way possible. With an ending which sets up the possibility of a potential sequel, Sleepless ironically and inevitably is the type of movie which has the confounded effect on its' audiences which completely contradicts its' meaningless title with Odar's first high-profile release more likely to send you into fits of snoring rather than keep you entertained and feel like you've spent your well-earned money well. 

Overall Score: 3/10

Catch-Up Film Review: Fifty Shades Darker

"No Rules, No Punishments And No More Secrets..."

As proven by the release of Park Chan-Wook's marvellous mystery thriller The Handmaiden and the return of Paul Verhoeven with Elle, the genre of erotica within contemporary cinema is still well and truly kicking, with each of these respective releases using elements of romance and explicit sexual imagery to a degree which is both interesting and original but more importantly used to a degree which makes sense within the overall narrative of the movie. In the case of the first Fifty Shades movie only two years previous, the fundamental issue was that not only the script unbelievably cliched and cringey, it was also so agonisingly dull, with the infamous tales of sexual naughtiness which was rife within the E. L. James novels not exactly transposing onto the big screen and coming off as something worth the time. Inevitably, with the ridiculous amount of money in which Fifty Shades of Grey managed to take, a sequel was never in doubt, but with a director as noteworthy as Glengarry Glen Ross director James Foley in charge, could Fifty Shades Darker be a sequel which surpasses its' awfully defunct predecessor?

In a sentence; not really, with Fifty Shades Darker annoyingly continuing the utter dullness and dreariness which encompassed the original, whilst its' snigger-inducing narrative and awful dialogue proves to its' respective audiences that nothing at all was learnt from the criticism of first film except for going along with the notion that the cheap, uninteresting sex scenes are obviously only there as the true appeal of a movie which attempts to hammer in some sort of story around it in order for it to be considered something resembling a film. As for the movie's other issues, the drama within the story is entirely anti-climactic, the romance is wooden and ridiculously unbelievable and with a supporting cast which includes Rita Ora and a cheque-swiping Kim Basinger, Fifty Shades Darker really doesn't have much going for it except for arguably a much better leading performance from Jamie Dornan whose portrayal of the highly intense and weirdly paranoid billionaire playboy is at least not entirely woeful in the grander scheme of things. With one more Shades film in the pipeline, the time can not come soon enough to end the raspberry jam of erotica once and for all. 

Overall Score: 3/10

Film Review: The Promise

"Our Revenge Will Be To Survive..."

Whilst I can admit to not always being a fan of outside arguments and discussions regarding the arrival of a new cinematic release, due simply to the fact that after all is said and done, a film is only a film, the controversy revolving around Terry George's The Promise is one which has been an undeniable eye-catcher ever since its' first release way back last year when the ever-popular IMDB rating system was apparently being hacked and improperly used by those accused of awarding the film a measly one star out of ten in a subversive tactic which was regarded as a orchestrated campaign to derail the release of the movie by Armenian genocide deniers. Tough stuff I know, and whilst this may or may not be the case, it did seem strange that a film in which had only been watched by a minuscule amount of audiences at pre-release screenings within festivals seemed to have such a negative reception with over 50,000 one-star ratings being awarded to the film before its' intended wide-spread release date. As for the film itself, The Promise is unfortunately nowhere near as interesting as the events preceding its' release, tackling a harrowing and shocking subject matter and lacing it with sub-par levels of drama and a leading love triangle which verges on the edge of cringe, resulting in a picture which potentially could have had the same impact of a movie such as Son of Saul but with trying narrative twists and awful set design, ends up being a complete and utter bore.

Of the many problems with the movie, the film's choice to focus primarily on the leading trio of the dodgy accented Isaac, the walking contradiction of Le Bon and the always awesome, Christian Bale, is a fundamental movie killer with neither of the characters really having enough development or admirable traits to which an average movie audience can relate with in order to find them interesting. Putting all of their chips on the figure of Oscar Isaac's Mikael, a character who not only decides against marrying his future betrothed in favour of a love affair with the wife of a respected journalist but essentially destroys the life of both said wife and said journalist respectively with his ignorant involvement in getting between them, the audiences involvement never really gets going and the sickening sights of forced drama when the saccharin sweetness of the romance pauses in favour of seemingly out-of-place violence is really quite aggravating to behold. From my point of view, you simply cannot comprehend a 12A rated movie based upon genocide and then fill it with a soppy love story and expect the audience to get on-board with it, and whilst this is exactly the decision those behind the creation of The Promise have got behind, I cannot shy away from the fact that it was not the film I was after regarding such a underdeveloped strand of history and with a narrative as corny as the one holding together Terry George's latest, I take no pleasure in stating that I am probably right. 

Overall Score: 4/10

Film Review: Their Finest

"They're Afraid They Won't Be Able To Put Us Back In The Box When This Is Over, And It Makes Them Belligerent..."

Directed by Lone Scherfig, the creative mind behind films such as The Riot Club and the Oscar nominated drama, An Education, Their Finest, based upon the 2009 novel, Their Finest Hour and a Half by British author Lissa Evans, seemingly begins a cycle of early 20th century war biopics which are set to be released this year, with highly anticipated releases such as Churchill and Christopher Nolan's unbelievably exciting take on Dunkirk coming to a theatre near you over the course of the next few months or so and whilst Scherfig's latest is arguably not in the same wide-spread level of appeal as the latest Nolan release or a film depicting one of Great Britain's most influential figures of recent history, with a cast which includes the bravura acting talents of Gemma Arterton, Eddie Marsan and Bill Nighy, the groundwork for excellence has somewhat already been established. The question remains therefore whether the finished picture matches the ability of its' leading stars and whilst Their Finest is indeed a charming low-key drama, one which is laced with a full swing of tea-swigging Britishness, the final flurry of its' second act doesn't hold the interest of the first and dwindles into a movie which is wholly admirable but ultimately inconsequential. 

 Perhaps the biggest criticism of Their Finest is it being a film which once again is a solid example of a movie which doesn't have enough actual meat on its' bones to run the course of its' two hour runtime, utilising narrative avenues which don't exactly work in the long run, such as the inclusion of Jack Huston as Arterton's underdeveloped partner, in order to enforce a dramatic subplot which although sets up the film's leading romantic element, could have been cut out entirely and averted the risk of the dreaded clock-watching from its' audience. On the contrary, the film does boast a overarching feel-good narrative which is bound to leave its' intended audience "weeping in the aisles" as stated by Bill Nighy's excellent portrayal of the fame-addicted presence of ageing actor Ambrose Hilliard, whilst Gemma Arterton continues the argument that whatever she is in she is always top of the class no matter if its' fighting zombies in The Girl With All The Gifts or battling the sexist and wholly misogynistic ways of 20th century Britain in her role as Welsh writer Catrin Cole. Ultimately, Their Finest is a enjoyable fluffy drama which tells a story and tells it admirably well aside from a few notable exceptions but with a cast as reliable as the one on its' books, it never really was going to fail.

Overall Score: 7/10