"Weak Men Will Never Rule Dorne Again..."
Ah Game of Thrones my old friend, how nice it is to finally see you after all this time. It's been way too long indeed, and throughout the vast black hole of nothing since we witnessed the death of Lord Commander Jon Snow, there have been laughs-a-plenty at the ways in which people have created nonsensical and completely ludicrous solutions to keeping our beloved Jon alive. Face it people, he's most certainly dead and we don't need the latest Daily Mail shot of Kit Harrington's hair-do to tell us differently. Maybe he just likes it greasy and curly? Completely disregarding and albeit ending any belief for fans of the show, the show-runners thought best to show how dead Lord Snow really was throughout the entirety of "The Red Woman", the most lackadaisical Game of Thrones premiere I can remember without much really happening at all. Sure, some port got set on fire in Meereen and Daenerys was forced to live out her days as a hermit in some godforsaken Dothraki hole but on the whole, the juicy stuff was left with the dead in the Nights Watch. It's okay Jon Snow, it could be much worse.
Speaking of worse, kudos to Maisie Williams for pulling off best-blindness of the year so far on TV, beating Matt Murdock in Netflix's Daredevil to the punch, with her life continuously going downhill ranging from blind begging on a road to getting the crap knocked out of her by that girl from 2014's Doctor Who Christmas Special. Poor Arya, hopefully things will get better, and the same goes for some of the story-lines, I mean come on, who cares about Dorne really? Aside from some decent bloodshed and a spike through the face, that particular storyline is to be fair, rather meh. Adding the fantasy element was both the sheer wonder of Sansa being saved by Brienne in the middle of nowhere as well as the show going full on The Shining, with the Red Woman looking deep into the Dorian Gray-esque mirror and revealing her true self. If that scene alone doesn't give you the creeps, then nothing will. Game of Thrones is back people and that itself is something to applaud. Filler and no killer makes the first episode of the latest venture into Westeros something of a solid, rather than a spectacle, but the return of our favourite psychopathic killers is enough to keep the appetite wet.
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