Film Review: Zootropolis

"It's Called A Hustle Sweetheart..."

And finally, here we are at last. The showdown between two heavyweights. The greatest battle ever to have graced this crazy world. That's right guys, it's Zootropolis against Batman V Superman. Disney against Warner. Bunny against Bat. See what I'm getting at? Good, I'll stop now. Continuing the riveting success of movies of the animated variety over the course of the past few years or so is Disney's latest pet project (No pun intended) Zootropolis, a film proud enough to stand toe-to-toe with BvS in hope of snatching that esteemed number one spot in the top ten list come the end of the Easter Holidays. If money doesn't speak volumes to you however, then the critical concentration of the two films is the thing you may indeed be looking at, with Zootropolis being leagues ahead in terms of overall quality in comparison to the Batman behemoth, with laughs being rife all the way though it's Chinatown-esque mystery themes and nods to the adult variety which will bound to leave all audiences leaving the cinema with a smile. And a new annoyingly catchy song to hum to. 

Leaving the carrot-harvesting life of her surroundings, optimistic young rabbit Judy Hopps enrols within the Police Recruitment program whereby she is reassigned to the vast and sprawling city of Zootropolis after graduating top of her class and having the esteemed reputation of becoming the first rabbit to do so. Although beginning life as a lowly traffic warden, Judy soon becomes unravelled in a kidnapping plot and with the help of fox con-artist Nick Wilde, she attempts to uncover the deep, dark secrets surrounding the cities anthropomorphic lifestyle. Featuring fantastic visuals and a incredible voice cast including the likes of Jason Bateman, Idris Elba and Ginnifer Goodwin as the young Officer Hopps, Zootropolis manages to encapsulate all the things that make animated movies the success that they are, with well-timed jokes cracked left, right and centre whilst the well-designed characters are crafted with more-than-enough detail to keep all the little ones interested and engaged. Although it perhaps doesn't include the same wonder factor of last years' brilliant one-two of Inside Out and Song of the Sea, Zootropolis is indeed a brilliant addition to the Disney canon, one in which I could watch again and again and continue to smile. Oh yeah, and that Shakira song is damn catchy. 

Overall Score: 8/10

Duo Review: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Dan's Review

After the ridiculous amount of cash Marvel's Deadpool has taken since it's release date all the way back in February, the world's fixation on live-action comic book blockbusters clearly has hit an all-time high with it being only a mere month before the release of the latest superhero cash-cow, DC's Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, a film which not only has a hell lot of future investment riding on it, with it essentially being a stepping stone for the creation of the DC Universe in which films like Wonder Woman and Justice League can exist, but also suffers fundamentally from an extreme amount of hype and expectation deriding not only from hardcore fans but from the head executives at Warner who know if Dawn of Justice goes down the pan, the optimistic future, one in which is obviously a frivolous attempt at rivalling the overly addictive and highly successful Marvel's Cinematic Universe, may start to look as dark and murky as the colour palette that embraces Zak Snyder's behemoth of a blockbuster. With The Dark Knight trilogy's Christopher Nolan to help him out, Snyder clearly had the blueprint of Man of Steel to follow on from with Dawn of Justice yet the sad and underlying truth of Dawn of Justice brings with it a deep sense of disappointment, with Batman v Superman being a incoherent and bloated CGI-fuelled mess, something of which doesn't come across as the tent-pole of the future it was indeed meant to become. 

Let's start with the good shall we? The set-up of the underlying plot behind Dawn of Justice, one in which the ambiguity of Superman's capabilities forces Batman to engage in means to stop him, urged by the Iago-esque doings of Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor and the chaos that occurred during the final act of Man of Steel in which Metropolis was well and truly given a hammering by our Krypton visitors, is definitely an interesting concept, one which gets to introduce the newest incarnation of Batman, with Ben Affleck's take on the caped crusader being a riveting success. Where Affleck succeeds is unfortunately where Cavill fails, with his performance as Clark Kent being one of dire and utter dullness. Wet fish anyone? Cavill aside, Dawn of Justice only lessens in quality throughout it's 150 minute run-time, a run-time which in itself results in a film bloated with extreme plot lines, plot lines that either make no sense whatsoever, with endless dream sequences set to leave many scratching their heads, or plot lines that seem to be there only for dramatic effect rather than any real purpose or meaning, with the scene in which Lois Lane discards and then attempts to get back the Kryptonite spear being rife with utter stupidity to say the least. 

Where Man of Steel eventually began to lose steam was indeed during it's final climactic act, one in which attempted to use as much CGI as possible in order to come across as epic but ultimately resulted in a 40 minute period of intense boredom and brain-melting digital effects. Well if Man of Steel was painful to watch at times, that has nothing on Dawn of Justice, a film so reliant on CGI effects to portray its' action, you simply beg for for George Miller to come in and beg for proper real-life thrills, thrills that were evident within Nolan's The Dark Night trilogy yet remain completely absent throughout the entirety of Snyder's snooze-fest. When we finally arrive at the titular battle at around the two-hour mark, its' sheer laziness and sleep-inducing reliance on CGI is just poor and wholly underwhelming. Oh yeah, and we then have an extra 30 minute fight scene featuring a CGI monster. Wow. What else is poor? Wonder Woman is on-screen for all of 5 minutes, whilst both Jeremy Irons and Diane Lane are criminally underused, yet the real crime is the sense of Nolan having no say on this film whatsoever as producer and the film being controlled completely by the effects ridden mind of Snyder, a man who simply cannot continue as the spearhead of DC's project of the future. Batman v Superman is not exactly Fantastic Four, it just seems like it is for now, with the heavy sense of disappointment leaving me with a strange sense of pessimism regarding the future of live-action DC movies, a genre which still has the credence to declare The Dark Knight as the best of the best. As for Marvel, they are most definitely still in control. Let's see what Captain America: Civil War brings. Excellence, I can only hope.

Dan's Score: 4/10

Pete's Review

So we know Dan hated it. I however felt it lived up to my very minimal expectations. I really enjoyed Man of Steel but Zak Snyder is as constant as a broken clock and he really did a number on this one. So let’s rattle off what is good about BvS. Firstly, Batfleck. His structure, costume and general portrayal was one of the more true to life Batmen that I've personally seen and he doesn't sound like he needs a lozenge and some honey tea (Apart from the laughable bat scene). Gal Gadot was a brilliant Wonder Woman, albeit for only a short period, and she really did kick ass with her costume really being on point, unlike her back story, which wasn't so much whilst, as we are all aware, Doomsday makes an appearance, one that is once again fantastic one that looked pretty damn good. I could sit here and rattle off a few more characters and names of those I've enjoyed as there is very little else that really made the movie. Sure, the action was good but the story was a mess of comic book Meta with events that are left unexplained and severely confusing for those out of the loop.

For instance (COMIC BOOK SPOILERS AHEAD), we know that Robin is dead, killed by the Joker. Or so we thought. The reality is that the recent Arkham Knight game reveals all and its’ main villain is actually Robin himself who felt betrayed by Batman and seeks revenge. So his appearance bursting out of a screen in a dream sequence in a costume that looks like Red Hood/Arkham Knight was jarring to say the least (Turns out it was The Flash for some fucking bizarre and ridiculous reason but I preferred my view). Everyone knows of the Joker and a lot may know of the Injustice series. The fighting game illustrates this series well as the Joker blows up Metropolis with a nuclear bomb killing many of the Justice League and Lois Lane. Superman goes ape shit and takes over the world and puts it under martial law while Batman leads a resistance against him, thus explaining the desert scene and all of the crazy costumes and military tech. Without rattling on more, you see that Zack isn't looking at the typical consumer. He was targeting the followers of the comics which in a way is great but financially, is not viable and still requires prior knowledge to a film that is launching a new series.

As a general consumer, what else are the issues? My biggest gripe sits with Hans Zimmer. A fantastic composer who has done some astonishing pieces of work but his work on BvS was awful. It felt like cheese was leaking from the speakers, with a corny guitar rift ruining the atmosphere of what should have been an incredibly tense and violent action sequence. Visually, the movie was alright, Doomsday looked bad-ass and his special effects were pretty good but Batman's movements didn't look human in the slightest and looked more like Spider-man with a permanent blur across him whenever he had to make any semblance of haste. Also, why does have to approach people in desperate need of help in an overly dramatic and incredibly slow fashion? Alright, Clark. Pack it in you prick. This house is about to float down the river. I can't quite understand the need to constantly portray yourself as a god but complain when people see you as just that. But Clarky boy has nothing on the particularly annoying Lex Luthor. Sure, it may have been a decent performance but I'd like to clarify that I don't ever remember seeing Lex Luthor act so bizarre. Perhaps he was doing his best impression of the Riddler and was trying to reinvent himself as a clown without make-up. The sharp, slick and calculated psychopath that I remember has become a crazy Joker goon with incoherent babbling at the top of his agenda.

Thus we come to the story; A convoluted mess with links so frail, a fart from the most petite of butterflies would send them careening through the museum of very expensive, fragile artefacts of a long lost world with the discretion of Russia in the Ukraine. Think of it as an origin movie. Something to whet the appetite for the future stories within the universe and yes, it does set that ground well but for 150 minutes, it sure did drag on. I look forward to seeing Jason Mamoa tackle Aquaman and finally (hopefully) give the character justice for the years of ridicule and watching Gal Gadot’s take on Wonder Women in what will be a very important milestone in her career. Not to say I didn't enjoy it, it was a fun movie and hopefully it’s just a minor hiccup that will give the next instalment a bump in motivation to produce a better, more flowing piece. But this is Snyder, so piss in a bucket and call it Granny's peach tea for all he cares.

PS - If anyone has that damn sexy note the Batmobile makes I want it now. Kthxbye.

Pete's Score: 6.5/10

Overall Score: 5.25/10

Film Review: High-Rise

"You Are Definitely The Best Amenity In The Building..."

Everywhere I seem to look at the moment, the grand and overly eye-catching figure of one Tom Hiddleston seems to be there, from gracing the small screen in the BBC's adaptation of John le Carre's The Night Manager to being plastered on the front cover of my monthly cinematic refresher in the form of Sight & Sound magazine in which he speaks about his latest venture away from his most recognisable role as Loki in the MCU in Ben Wheatley's High-Rise, the long awaited adaptation of the controversial J.G. Ballard novel released way back in 1975. Being a life-long fan of Wheatley, with Kill List being one of the best cinematic experiences I can recall in the past few years, and featuring a cast including Sienna Miller, Luke Evans, Jeremy Irons and of course, Tom Hiddleston as Dr. Laing, I ventured into High-Rise with a steeping sense of anticipation, anticipation that was swayed by the fundamental strangeness of Wheatley's latest with High-Rise being an interesting case of a film that may need to be seen more than once in order to fully understand it.

Beginning with a pitch black sensibility, one that encompasses many of Wheatley's movies such as Sightseers and Down Terrace, High-Rise welcomes us into the world of Hiddleston's Dr. Robert Laing, months into his move into the titular high-rise where a certain turn of events have turned the structure into a world of sheer madness, a world where eating a pet dog is the norm and paint pots are the most luxurious item to get hold of amongst the death and destruction that is tearing the world inside the high-rise apart. The film then flicks back three months and paints a picturesque view of the titular high-rise, a rather obvious metaphor for the class war system in society, with the lower classes, formed of nuclear families and the less well-off living at the bottom of the structure whilst the ruling classes enjoy debauchery and excess way up at the top, with Jeremy Irons' Anthony Royal, the architect of the structure, living life in the penthouse with his estranged wife Ann, played in full-on cabin fever style by Keeley Hawes. An interesting concept indeed, and one that Wheatley fully understands, resulting in a film that breaks boundaries of socialistic ideas and ideals whilst consciously showing a sheer bonkers concept of one outcome of class wars within society. 

Where the film does indeed falter is in its' rather bloated attempt to showcase a dystopian 1970's world in which our hero Dr. Laing, presides in, both inside the high-rise as a laughing stock of the ruling class but a figure of interest to the lower levels, and outside in his role as a doctor, a role in which Lain eventually leaves behind to the feral nature of the high-rise. Cut perhaps 20 minutes and the film would have been much less of a drag at times, with endless scenes of excess and carnage eventually becoming tiresome towards the latter stages of the film, whilst the inevitable change from normal to mayhem happens way too quickly and without any sense of depth and true reason. That aside, High-Rise is indeed an interesting and captivating black-drama, one that suits Wheatley's eye for the strange and the jet-black satirical humour. Not Kill List but a real win indeed, High-Rise should be next on your cinematic watch-list.

Overall Score: 8/10

Film Review: The Witch

"Mother, I've Brought A Book, Will You Look At It With Me..?"

Wherein many believe the epitome of modern-day horror movies consist solely of long scenes of tedious boredom, offset with the occasional and wholly meaningless jump-scares, there still remains the chosen few who believe it takes a whole lot more to accomplish something of which many have failed to do over the course of the past few years in particular; make a damn good horror movie. Sure, there have been the few exceptions which break the mould with The Babadook and the best Ben Wheatley film to date, Kill List being strong contenders for scariest movies of the decade so far, yet far too many concede to the money-making formula of jumpy scares over atmosphere and plot. What a massive and overly joyous surprise it is then to have witnessed the creepy, tense, overly oppressive and deliciously dark horror that is The Witch, a stunning debut from first-time director Robert Eggers who in his quest to create a realistic tale of witchcraft has indeed created the most disturbing and terrifying motion picture in years. Watch it with caution...

After being excommunicated and exiled from a New England Puritan Church plantation, William and his family swiftly move to a new home in the realms of a forest, one in which leaves them with dying crops and strange occurrences, most strikingly, when their youngest child goes missing at the hands of a unknown entity deep in the forest. Hooked already? Good, as that's all you are going to get with The Witch, a film which indeed forces you to make up your own decisions regarding what you witness on screen whilst attempting to get incredibly deep under your skin and stay there during your pitch black walk back home, conscious of that slight movement in the corner of your eye. Although jump scares aren't the primary concern of the film, there are sheer moments of horror throughout the film's 90 minute runtime, scenes in which enlighten the director's love of The Shining and The Wicker Man, whilst the gorgeous cinematography and dark, oppressive colour palette only add to the film's sense of sheer dread. With the scariest goat in movie history at its' core, The Witch is a horror movie fan's dream. Check it out and beware... SHE'S A WITCH!

Overall Score: 9/10  

Film Review: 10 Cloverfield Lane

"Crazy Is Building Your Ark After The Flood Has Already Come..."

Who remembers Cloverfield then? That's right, the sci-fi found footage epic that did more damage to your brain with its' continuous shakiness than most others in its' respective category, produced by the man of the moment J.J. Abrams and written by Drew Goddard, the man behind the screenplay of Ridley Scott's The Martian from last year. Dropping Drew Goddard but keeping the producing talents of Abrams, 10 Cloverfield Lane, coined the "blood relative" of Cloverfield, pretty much goes in every opposite direction to its' sister, leaving the shaky found footage and the outside metropolis of New York behind in favour of a film which essentially becomes Panic Room meets Psycho, with the threat of the alien apocalypse stirred in for good comfort. With Damien Chazelle, writer and director of last years' best film Whiplash, part of the writing circle and a trio of marvellous acting talents, 10 Cloverfield Lane is a superb, tense and taut sci-fi thriller. 

Waking up from a violent car crash in a locked confinement, chained to her bedpost, Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is greeted by the conspiracy-driven creepiness of Howard. played in a completely Kathy Bates-esque fashion by John Goodman, who chews the scenery from beginning to end in creating a character mixed between Annie Wilkes and Norman Bates, the freakiest of mixes if ever there was one. Told by Howard of the outsides contamination by unknown forces, Michelle and fellow captive Emmett (John Gallagher, Jr.) begin to query Howard's true intentions and the accuracy of his warnings. Although the film is driven by the sheer brilliance of Goodman, with Howard being a larger than life force to be reckoned with, the tight and compact surroundings of the bunker in which the film primarily takes place adds to the sense of isolation and containment the film attempts to create. And boy, it sure creates it. 

Although the array of effective jump scares and scenes of complete and utter white knuckle tension make 10 Cloverfield Lane a fantastic thriller, it should be said that the BBFC's decision to award the film with just a 12A certificate is strange to say the least. Violence, acid-burned faces and bodies, and themes of abductions and captivity, all alongside infected zombie-like civilians all result in making 10 Cloverfield Lane the most top-end 12A film I think I have ever seen. Trust me, it's not something for ten year old's, let alone some 15 year old's, so take it from me, be wary of the the deceitful classification. That aside, 10 Cloverfield Lane is a brilliant thriller, one that seemingly popped out of nowhere with very little press and exposure before its' swift arrival in cinemas, something of which I can only stand up and applaud. If his success with Star Wars allows J.J. to carry on making films such as this in the future, I look forward to his next project.

Overall Score: 8/10

Film Review: Kung Fu Panda 3

"Get Ready To Dance... With Danger!"

Where last year offered some real quality additions to the genre of animation with films such as Inside Out already solidifying itself as a Disney classic whilst The Tale of the Princess Kaguya all but continued the riveting success of Studio Ghibli, this year has only succeeded in adhering to the well-established notion that animation is on the rise with last week's Anomalisa being yet another wonderful piece of animated-driven cinema. Rivalling the success of both Disney and Studio Ghibli is that of DreamWorks Animation, with their latest venture, Kung Fu Panda 3 being a solid, highly entertaining continuation of the highly successful series in which a wholly impressive voicing cast lead the way to a variety of laugh-out-loud set pieces in which all family members can take something away from. In terms of the film's plot, after being reunited with his long, lost father Li Shan (Bryan Cranston), Dragon Warrior Po (Jack Black) is required to take over the reigns of Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) and become the role of teacher, much to Po's and and the Furious Five member's bemusement. After coming under attack from the spirit warrior Kai (J.K. Simmons), Po must train under the wing of his father in order to defeat this legendary foe once and for all, training to become the teacher his master believes he can be all the way.

Of course, as with most DreamWorks Animation pictures, Kung Fu Panda is a delight to take in and admire visually, with fluorescent and vivid animation filling the screen in almost every section of the film's incredibly family-friendly runtime. Wherein it may suitably pass the time and do wonders for the younger generation, in terms of its' overall longevity and originality, it does seemingly go in one ear and come swiftly out the other, with the formula of the Kung Fu Panda franchise not exactly being broken to an extent that its' third instalment could be classed as something excellent, yet for the time it is on-screen, Kung Fu Panda 3 is ridiculously enjoyable, with laughs and sniggers being constant throughout. That's right, Kung Fu Panda is much funnier than Hail, Caesar! The kid inside me has been truly awoken. Kung Fu Panda is no mere masterpiece, but it does what it needs to and does it well. Pandas... ASSEMBLE!

Overall Score: 7/10

Film Review: Anomalisa

"Look For What Is Special About Each Individual, Focus On That..."

When the name Charlie Kaufman is brought up in conversation amongst the many cinematic ramblings, films like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Being John Malkovich are the first that always spring to mind with the former being a particularly strange and wonderful feat of cinema featuring arguably Jim Carey in his best role to date. As for Duke Johnson, I'm afraid to say that this is a name that I was not aware of in the slightest before watching Anomalisa, a animated feature that brings together the wacky, surreal sensibility of Kaufman and morphs majestically with the stop-motion talents of Johnson (Thanks Wikipedia) creating a piece of art unlike anything else that will be released this year. Not only is the story wonderful, the ideas out-of-this-world and the stop-motion itself rather flawless, Anomalisa is a movie that speaks about the honest pains of the world's oldest emotion; love. Just with puppets. Featuring David Thewlis as the voice of Michael Stone, the comically least motivated motivational speaker you have seen in film, Anomalisa follows Michael's venture to Cincinnati and his stay at the local hotel wherein he meets the unique Lisa (Jennifer Jason Leigh) a woman whom he believes is the chance for a new beginning in life.

Carrying on the wonderful imaginings that originate from the mind of Kaufman, Anomalisa focuses solely on the POV of Michael, a man who seemingly realises his life is going nowhere, tent-poled by a marriage which bears similarities to Kevin Spacey's Lester Burnham in American Beauty with both partnerships being there for show rather than for actuality on the basis of love, with even Michael's son being more interested on the ownership of toys rather than his fathers' affection, culminating in a rather hilarious scene in which Michael brings back his son a rather questionable Cincinnati present to play with. Boosting the notion of Michael's loneliness in life is the way in which everyone around him sounds exactly the same, one that is rather monotone and ever-so slightly eerie masterminded by the voice of Tom Noonan. The constant familiar voice is intended to portray Michael's singularity and depressive nature, a nature that is brought comfort by the discovery of Lisa whose voice, to the wonder of Michael, is inherently different, a soothing, comforting one in which Michael finds solace and can't hear enough of, evidenced by a wonderful scene in which Lisa sings Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun". 

Amongst the wondrous joy of Anomalisa is the mandatory subverted strangeness, with Michael's dream sequences being rather Lynchian to say the least, with one in particular exposing the puppetry of Michael's orchestration, a nod to the film-maker's decision to allow the design of the puppets to be seen clear-as-day on-screen, perhaps suggesting the life of Michael can be boiled down to that of the proverbial puppet on a string, one in which life and loneliness comes hand in hand except for that brief moment in which you find true happiness, happiness which goes all two quick for our titular Anomalisa. Much like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Kaufman has orchestrated a superbly imaginative piece of cinema, one in which should not forget the work of Duke Johnson in any sense, and one in which will stand up against anything else released this year. Superb.

Overall Score: 9/10

Film Review: Hail, Caesar!

"Squint Against The Grandeur..!"

When it comes to the Coen Brothers, there is no doubting their ability in the art of film-making even if sometimes their films begin to dwell into the realm of complete mayhem, with films such as Burn After Reading showing their tendency to revel in too much kookiness being on similar wave-lines with cinematic sludges such as their remake of True Grit, a film that can be applauded for its' cast but yawn inducing nonetheless. On the other hand, films such as No Country For Old Men, Fargo and my own personal favourite Inside Llewyn Davis showcase the brothers' love for cinema, a love that is no doubt reciprocated within their latest adventure Hail, Caesar! a comedic drama focusing on a day in the life of Capitol Pictures fixer Eddie Mannix, portrayed in a near-perfect fashion by Coen mainstay Josh Brolin supported by a mind-boggling rafter of stars including George Clooney, Ralph Fiennes, Scarlet Johansson, and Channing Tatum as well as Alden Ehrenreich as the "singing cowboy" Hobie Doyle. Stars galore right? But does the film match the greatness of its' payroll? Not exactly. 

Amongst the damsels in distress, replacement actors, an attempt to get a mother to adopt her own child and contemplating a move to another place of working life, all of which encompass one day in the life of Brolin's Mannix, the core plot-line amongst the many that are brought to life within the film's magical air of 1950's Hollywood is the kidnapping of famous star Baird Whitlock, played in full-on comedic fashion by Clooney, by the mysterious cult calling themselves "The Future". Although this particular plot-line establishes itself as the core of the movie, aside from the involvement of Clooney, it is strangely the weakest within the film, resulting in a through line that attempts to hold the film together but instead results in a film weaker than the sum of its' parts. It almost feels like a Coenzian (I'm coining that phrase now) wishlist of stars playing their part in the dreamland of a Hollywood in the mid-20th century of which the brothers wished they were part of, something that on the face of it isn't bad at all, but for some strange reason, the love I wish I had for it just isn't there and Hail, Caesar! ultimately feels like something of a let down regarding the talent on display. 

 Among the great things in the movie is the introduction to Tatum's character with an all-singing all-dancing routine which is bound to capture the hearts of most audiences whilst the story of Doyle is particularly captivating, with his confrontation with Fienne's Laurence Laurentz easily one of the most quotable of the year so far. Hill barely has two words to say and is just completely wasted whilst Frances McDormand continues to cash in on her marital duties and appears ever so briefly in the husky air of the back-end editing room; a very strange scene indeed. Hail, Caesar! has a few laughs, a variety of chuckles and a tendency to bring out a smile on occasion yet the film just isn't the masterpiece it perhaps could have been. Better than Burn After Reading? God, yes. As good as Inside Llewyn Davis? Not at all. It's solid from the Coen's, just not ground-breaking. 

Overall Score: 6/10

Film Review: London Has Fallen

"F**K"

With one of the worst taglines in movie history accompanying it (Check the poster above), the sequel not one person particularly wanted to Olympus Has Fallen has finally decided to embrace our screens in a time of the cinematic year in which, let's face it, most of the crap tends to descend upon us in a vain attempt to dislodge the award season by letting us know that aside from brilliance of films like Spotlight and Room there is always going to be a gap in the market for absolutely tripe. Following in the footsteps of last weeks' horror abortion The Forest therefore is Babak Najafi's London Has Fallen, a cash-grabbing attempt to carry on the murderous rampage of one Gerard Butler during his duties to protect the least believable on-screen President ever in the form of Aaron Eckhart, perhaps best known for portraying Harvey Dent/Two-Face in The Dark Knight, whilst eyeing up the chance to blow up some of the UK's most valuable and iconic works of art in a metaphorical and very American two fingers up to the people of the UK. As you can tell, it's a complete turkey. 

Although perhaps not worthy of extreme critical examination by any stretch of the imagination, I believe it is the interest of editorial affairs that I point you in the direction of Adam Sherwin's article in The Independent (Link Below) whereby he gathers the rafter of hatred that has been directed towards London Has Fallen with many proclaiming it a "dumpster of xenophobia" and a film which would "inevitably end up on Donald Trump's DVD shelf". Can I argue with any of these statements? Not at all, particularly when regarding the extreme stereotypes and highly racist prejudices which encompass the entirety of the movie whilst the inclusion of complicated and controversial tactics of war such as drone usage is simply lauded within the first ten minutes of the film in which we witness an entire generation of a middle-eastern family get blown up. Is this really entertainment? No. Not only is the film morally bankrupt to the extreme, it is also a shoddy piece of cinema with awful dialogue, ridiculously violent set pieces and awful CGI which wouldn't go amiss in a straight-to-DVD B-Movie. Don't take the time out of your day to fuel America's willingness to enlighten the world regarding the evil nature of the East, London Has Fallen is a Goebbels' level of war propaganda and something that should be left alone in hope it disappears completely. 

Overall Score: 2/10

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/news/london-has-fallen-movie-condemned-as-racist-terrorsploitation-for-donald-trump-era-a6909596.html

Film Review: Goodnight Mommy

"She's So Different..."

As you may have gathered from my review of The Forest last week, the horror genre, a genre in which I am a huge advocate of in general, I believe, is in danger of being split straight down the middle in terms of mass marketing with a rather bleak possibility of future horror releases simply consisting of both highly publicised and widely released movies, those that rely on cheap jump scares and completely rip off previous examples, and then minimal releases, those that aren't afraid to convey societal conventions and bring something new to the genre, albeit being in danger of being left behind due to their lack of releases across the globe. Look at Bone Tomahawk a few weeks back, a film in which although had a rather star-studded cast, was ultimately impossible to locate within the major chains of cinemas even though I believe it can be regarded as arguably the best horror movie to be released in recent times. Unfortunately for Goodnight Mommy, this particular horror-chiller is a movie which falls undoubtedly into the latter category, a film which will not be widely seen or spoken about amongst the masses but serves a purpose in attempting to freak out those dedicated enough to search it out.

Being wary of not giving too much of the plot away, Goodnight Mommy, helmed by the directorial one-two of both Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala, focuses on the lives of twin siblings Elias and Lukas who in the confines of their isolated lakeside house begin to wonder whether their mother after returning from facial cosmetic surgery is really who she says she is. Cue creepy bandaged-wrapped mother-dearest, taking cues from iconic horror movies such as the many incarnations of The Mummy and the undeniably creepy Eyes Without A Face, and unnerving imagery which had me covering my face for two scenes in particular, and you end up with a good old fashioned creep-fest, one which uses the understated notion of ambiguity to inject its' scares rather than the irritable screeches that have encompassed most horrors over the course of the past few years or so. If you are a lover of the genre and want something that really, really isn't The Forest, check out Goodnight Mommy and revel in its' skin-crawling creepiness, ending with a twist so 1990's, it can be seen as the love-child of both M. Night Shyamalan and David Fincher. Find it, see it, love it. 

Overall Score: 8/10

Film Review: The Forest

"I Don't Know If This Forest Made You A Psycho Or You Were Always This Crazy..."

Of all the clichéd, hack-eyed prattle that has been released over the course of the past two years, The Forest, starring Game of Thrones regular Natalie Dormer in the leading role, can be surely regarded as the worst. You know those popular videos on YouTube where that dude completely dissects a movie and points out everything wrong with it from start to finish? Well he would have a field trip with The Forest, a film so unoriginal, so dull, so unashamedly dire that even last years' woeful The Gallows looks like A Tale of Two Sisters in comparison. In terms of plot, and I am using the term incredibly loosely, Natalie Dormer portrays two twins, one of whom ventures into the infamous Aokigahara Forest in the Northwest base of Mount Fuji in Japan, an area famous for its' tendency for suicides, resulting in the blonde half of the twins, Sara, attempting to fly half way across the world in order to locate her. Cue racist stereotypes, token hot guy and awful jump scares.

In fear of rambling on into next week, The Forest believes it is a film of unquestionable spiritual originality, a film that wants us to believe that no one ever has gotten around to seeing The Evil Dead, The Grudge, The Descent, The Shining and other films occupying in a completely different league, films that although have a wide range of flaws, are important to horror fans across the globe in their success at creeping the pants off of everyone who has ever seen them. Enter The Forest, a film which wholeheartedly rips riffs from each of these different horror classics yet still ceases to end up scary. Although you are fundamentally inclined to jump at something that goes boo at the end of a completely silent sequence in film, the jump scares in The Forest are just cheap and lazy, scenes that make no sense whatsoever and add to the shoddy nature of Natalie Dormer's first venture into a leading role in cinema. The Forest isn't just tosh, it's annoying tosh, tosh that acts as a metaphor for American horror's venture to be as good as their Japanese counterparts by invading the country and then sticking two fingers up at everyone in a sadistic Trump-like fashion. Watch Ringu. Watch The Grudge (THE ORIGINAL). Stay away from The Forest. Utter tripe. 

Overall Score: 2/10