Sunday, 9 April 2017

Film Review: Table 19

"What If You Came Here For A Different Reason Today...?"


Famous for appearing in a supporting role within the epitome of marmite movie-making in the form of the Twilight franchise, the fundamentally annoying figure of Anna Kendrick is the type of leading star which I just can't comprehend how she has managed to successfully integrate herself into the mirage of contemporary cinema, particularly in the genre of comedy-based dramas in which her latest release in the form of Table 19 seems to adhere to, due to the basic fact that she simply doesn't have a comedic bone in her body. Harsh much? Sue me. What we have with Table 19 therefore, the latest release from director Jeffrey Blitz, a character perhaps most famous for his directorial duties on the American adaptation of The Office, is a movie in which the void of motionless performances and the quiet desolation of cringe-inducing silence is so vast and multi-faced that for Table 19 to class itself as a romantic comedy is a complete and utter insult to not only its' audience but towards its' cast too, who unwittingly attempt to turn a dour narrative into something worthwhile. As you might be able to tell, unfortunately they do not.


After accepting an invitation to the wedding of her former best friend's brother of whom a relationship is seemingly a thing of the past, Anna Kendrick's unbearable leading character tries her hardest to offer evidence as the best on-screen sober drunk girl at a wedding I can remember seeing in recent years, annoying each and every audience member from start to finish with her whining cries of self-loathing and self-indulgence which involves a strange sub-plot regarding a pitiless and immature response to childhood amongst an overall narrative which literally has nothing memorable or imaginative from the outset. With characters who act as simply cannon fodder for Kendrick to spit at in anger regarding her truly first-world problems, Table 19 can only be regarded as a sold enough example as one of the most boring romantic comedies I can remember, with my respective cinema stoked in silence for a painfully slow 90 minutes in which on-screen jokes were greeted unanimously with sighs and glances towards the nearest clock face to see how long it was until the torture was nearing its' end. Table 19 is a ugly, self-obsessed and wholly repulsive movie which has nothing redeemable about it whatsoever. Avoid. 

Overall Score: 2/10

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