Film Review: Transformers: The Last Knight

"The Imminent Destruction Of All We Know And Love, Begins Now..."

Whilst overly long blockbuster movies are indeed not exactly anything original, it does take the patience of a saint to be able to sit through and enjoy most of Michael Bay's most recent cinematic exploits, and whilst The Rock and Bad Boys prove that sometimes Bay does manage to create something which although is undeniably stupid, is too a whole bunch of fun, his annoyingly pompous stamp on the Transformers series proves without a doubt that fame and fortune is the only thing on the mind of its' creators, particularly when the series just doesn't seem to be slowing down in terms of worldwide and domestic gross. Clocking in at a staggering 149 minutes however, a runtime which is actually generously measured when put up against previous Transformers entries, The Last Knight is stated by both Bay and leading star Mark Wahlberg to be the final entry into the CGI-fuelled, overlong, action franchise and with that in mind, there is a sense of joy heading into the cinema knowing that this may indeed be the last time to witness Bay's live action interpretation of Hasbro's famous plastic toy range. Unfortunately, yet rather inevitably, The Last Knight is not exactly a movie which can classed as anything remotely joyful, with Bay successfully managing to create the most insipid, boring and woeful excuse for a blockbuster in years. Wait a second while I just clear my tinnitus. 

Although narrative and plot are never usually at the forefront of most Transformers movies, The Last Knight actually revels in the fact that there simply isn't a story to be told. Whilst something about King Arthur, Merlin and some ancient, historic sword attempts to linchpin the movie together, Bay's latest makes Batman v. Superman look like a picture-book example of coherent A to B storytelling, with the movie too often more interested in endless explosions and placid CGI to really offer anything for the audience to really sink their emotional teeth into. Aside from a woeful narrative, epileptic editing and a cash-hungry supporting cast including the likes of Sir Anthony Hopkins, The Last Knight suffers from two inexcusable elements which simply make the film a painful exercise of patience. Firstly, the length. Not many films earn the right to be 150 minutes plus and whilst The Last Knight may be one of the shorter Transformers offerings, my sweet lord do you feel every single second of its' sheer awfulness, with each passing minute ripping your soul apart as you slowly lose hope in the future of cinema as we know it. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, the 12A rating slapped onto the movie encourages kids to go and see it, albeit with their parents, and whilst the action and spectacle may keep many wildly entertained, the constant use of unnecessary expletives and ripe sexual references make this supposed "kids" movie a poison chalice of misjudgement, and a movie which although may succeed in taking shed loads of money, will surely not satisfy even the most hardcore of Transformers fans. An explosive mess of a movie, The Last Knight is worthy of complete avoidance. Don't take the risk.

Overall Score: 2/10

Film Review: Beauty and the Beast

"Think Of The One Thing That You've Always Wanted. See It In Your Mind's Eye And Feel It In Your Heart..."

As per the norm of a well-spent 1990's childhood, Disney movies were indeed the go-to method of escapism for a younger version of myself in which films like The Lion King and Fantasia were at the forefront of what was all and sacred in the world at that specific moment in time, and whilst the original 1991 animated Disney classic adaptation of Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont's famous fairy tale wasn't exactly the top of my list of favourite animations as a young child, Beauty and the Beast has always been arguably one of the most iconic Disney movies to have ever been released, due mainly to the even more iconic soundtrack which even to this day is immediately quotable and enviously recognisable. Following on from the one-two success of both 2015's Cinderella and Jon Favreau's adaptation of The Jungle Book, this year's Disney remake is indeed the famous tale of beauty and beast, this time portrayed by Emma Watson and Legion's Dan Stevens respectively whilst being helmed by director Bill Condon whose previous directorial credits include the good, (Mr. Holmes) the bad, (Candyman 2) and the ugly (Twilight: Breaking Dawn), and whilst this latest version of the classic tale shines brightly in a wide range of different areas, the lack of originality and complete absence of threat reduce it to a movie which is solid but not exactly spectacular. 

Whilst last year's The Jungle Book was a movie which although was aware of the classic songs which encompassed the original Disney classic animation, it too was a film which instead of just rehashing them into a live-action scenario, developed and alternated them enough to both seem wholly organic yet still held a warm sense of appeal for those who loved the original so dearly. With Beauty and the Beast however, Condon's decision to simply cordon the classic songs into his own adaptation does ultimately seem a slight cop out alongside a narrative which note-for-note follows the blueprint of the 1991 animation without ever having the nerve to swerve off-course and offer something utterly different. In the leading role of Belle, Emma Watson does ultimately seem the correct choice for the part, with her innocent and natural beaming sense of joy the epitome of a Disney princess's genetic makeup yet the real fun of the movie is to be had with Luke Evan's Gaston, the egotistic and arrogant killer who makes it his life's duty to take Belle's hand in marriage. Whilst the cast is impressive and the effects are magical in places, this adaptation of the famous tale is indeed beaming with beauty but ultimately lacking in substantial bite. 

Overall Score: 6/10 

Film Review: Spotlight

"I Know There's Things You Can't Tell People, But I Also Know There's A Story Here People Will Hear About..."

Before we begin, let us look back at the year of 2015 in film, a film in which Spotlight director Tom McCarthy decided it was best to embrace us with a continuation of one Adam Sandler's career with the release of The Cobbler, a film so inept in quality and clouded with sheer hatefulness, one could argue it was set to ignite the downfall of McCarthy's career, a career that so far had included critical successes with directorial credits on films such as The Station Agent featuring Peter Dinklage, and writing credits for being the mastermind behind the script of Disney Pixar's Up, a film which generated similar critical acclaim. So the question remains, how on earth did the fundamental talent of Mr. McCarthy end up creating one of the real stinkers of 2015, a film so terrible it holds the distinction of being placed on this sites' worst films of last year, pulling in at a wholly unremarkable third place? Do I have the answer? No, but thankfully with a new year there is always new surprises, and with the release of Spotlight, a biographical drama focusing on the investigation into the widespread cases of child sex abuse in the Boston area in 2002, it can be safely said that McCarthy is back in the good books. And some. 

After being blacklisted in 2013 as one of the many unproduced screenplays around Hollywood, Spotlight attempts to portray the investigation from the Boston Globe's titular Spotlight team into the seedy truths behind one of the worlds most hideous and horrific crimes within recent memory and with its' core narrative based around the true-life tales of child sex abuse and rape, it is completely understandable why so many may have been put off by bringing such a terrible tale to the big screen. Within the hands of Tom McCarthy however, a man hell bent on cinematic redemption, Spotlight disregards the dramatic tendencies it may have resorted to and instead focuses primarily on the dying art of investigatory journalism, a decision that proves key when outlining the films' many successes. In a similar fashion to Lenny Abrahamson's Room, a film with a similar dark plot at its' core, Spotlight refuses flat out to present dramatic representations of the many startling acts that took place within the Boston area and instead encompasses the point of view entirely from that of our characters within the Spotlight team, a cinematic trope that shares parallels with Room, a film in which we see the events of the film from the point of view of young Jack who unbeknownst to the terrible events that occur in the film, save the audience from a full understanding and instead leave the terrible events in a state of ambiguity, a key decision that ultimately has worked for both films, both of which share horrendous events within its' DNA.

Of course, resting the films' drama entirely on that of journalists, lawyers and other white collar characters as well as countless scenes of characters talking within office spaces, meetings, town halls and a wide range of other suit-and-tie surroundings, the film needed to have a equal balance between script and acting, and with acting pedigree such as Micheal Keaton, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams, it is unsurprising that that is exactly what Spotlight achieves. Spotlight is a film about something, something terrible, something that will stay with people for years to come, and the way in which each and every actor embraces their role on-screen is a true work of art. Never before have I seen a drama so powerful and startling it could be mistaken for a horror film, with one scene in which a priest completely confesses his crimes entirely straight-faced and without one shred of remorse particularly frightening, a credit to the films' underlying stance on squeezing tension from the most remote of scenes without resorting to melodrama. If Spotlight brings with it a sense of redemption for director Tom McCarthy, then it verges on the level of Shawshank, with Spotlight being a highly intelligent, engrossing and fundamentally nightmarish cinematic experience that will no doubt leave viewers reeling from a wide range of emotions that the movie evokes. One week ago, The Revenant was top form for Best Picture at the Oscars. Move over Alejandro, Tom McCarthy has just made his masterpiece.

Overall Score: 10/10 

Transformers: Age of Extinction - Giant Robot UFC - Review - SPOILERS

Everyone with half a brain knows that Transformers is bound to be a huge hit in cinemas. With Michael Bay at the helm, it makes it that much more special (Lets not talk about the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...). With Shia LeBeouf having his alcohol fuelled plagiarist mid-life crisis, Transformers return has had to make a change. Although its very unlikely that he was planned to feature in this instalment even before his impression of Lohan came too light, it feels empty not seeing the hero that we've followed for so many years. Now we have been lumbered with Mr Mark Wahlberg and it certainly isn't the same. With his new reality TV series and the emotional pallet of a dead skunk it has led me to slowly lose faith in a big player in the movie industry and made me wary of the quality of the film.

Since the Chicago war in which the Autobots annihilated the Decepticons, NEST was shut down, the alliance between Humans and Autobots has ceased with them being granted asylum and a new task force was created to deal with the Decepticon threat and those who are hidden away on Earth. Although, not all is well with this new task force. Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer), CIA and our lead villain has an alliance with a Transformer bounty hunter and Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci) in providing Optimus to the bounty hunter and with his help all the Transformers, including the Autobots too Joyce, dead. Attinger stands to inherit a bomb from the bounty hunter that creates the very material Transformers are built from and a large sum of money from Joyce who is using the mineral to create his version of Transformers but under his control, thus cornering huge markets. Walhberg, who plays Cade Yaeger is simply a bystander who bought a truck which turned out to be Optimus. Some stuff blows up and now him and his 'family' are on the run from this shadow organization with the Autobots.

Now that NEST has thoroughly been pushed out of the picture, it feels as if they just blew away all of the past characters that could still have played a role and really strengthen the cast and add some familiarity to the screen. Lumbered with a new frontman, we have to be able to connect with Wahlberg from the bat and it's just not possible. With the acting range of Steven Seagal's back catalogue, Wahlberg cannot express emotion to any other degree than a blank canvas that shouts a lot. mixed with two young actors whose blockbuster virginity has been popped but have the likeability of women with a tramp-stamp. Paired with the fact that Nicola Peltz plays Tessa Yaeger, the stereotypical American blond popular girl who dates Shane Dyson (Jack Reynor), a 'rally' driver

picked up by Red Bull who is a giant pussy when it comes to anything else. Then we have a few Youtube sensations appearing for small roles. Kassem G and TJ Millar (I know he does other stuff) were horrible. Annoying character, even when they didn't speak. Many of their scenes were useless and are worthless additions to try and make something funny. Another bone to pick is the plug advertisements. Of all things, Beats Pill got its grubby hands on Michael Bay and he bent right over. The scenes were so painfully forced, you could see the souls of the actors die a little inside.

Now apart from all of this, this film is a ton of fun. Lured in by the addition of giant Dinobots, I was sold on the idea from the first trailer release. Although they only appear in the last 30 minutes, the action is heavy enough with plenty of witty moments to lighten up the mood. The range of vehicles was astonishing and seeing the first Transformer with the ability to transform into 3 forms (A Samurai, Bugatti Veyron Vitess and an attack helicopter) was cool too. The huge range of vehicles and Transformers was amazing and their general quality was incredible. At parts it slips and looks like its pasted onto the scene with little shading and the new transform style isn't the nicest looking but the level of work, expertise and dedication that goes into making something on this scale shows the love and passion that everyone had working on this. I would like to put into question the prop designer on a gun used by Mark that is picked up from the armoury of the bounty hunter's ship. With the size of the crew, how is it only the size of a standard issue rifle and shaped like a sword but extremely blunt?

With a few plugs confirming the next Transformers movie, hopefully the cast can be sorted and we get a better group of people to face it. Hopefully Shia will have woken up from whatever moment he is having and will be considered to return as the forerunner to the next title as I don't think I can stand dealing with Mark Wahlberg in a movie that he doesn't fit. The passion and effort that went into making this warrants a lot of more score alongside the fact that the movie is just pure craziness from the get-go. Unadulterated fun with giant dinosaurs and clever little twists and loveable Transformers. What's not to love? 7/10