Film Review: The Predator

"I Think They're Attempting Hybridisation. They're Upgrading On Every Planet They Visit..."

With it being thirty one years since the original Predator in which Arnold Schwarzenegger out muscled Carl Weathers and a brand new monster franchise was violently brought to the attention of Hollywood, director Shane Black (Iron Man 3, The Nice Guys) brings his own particular twist to the series with a direct sequel to the previous entries which features over-inflated ego's, jaw-dropping violence and an eclectic twist of tones as we see the threat of the titular monster land on the doorstep of Boyd Holbrook's (Logan) Quinn McKenna, a merciless Army Ranger sniper whose team are swiftly massacred after a mysterious alien ship crash lands on earth. With Black himself famously having a leading role in the original, his penchant for black comedy which has been rife throughout his directorial back catalogue thus far is surprisingly the standout tone of The Predator, a film which attempts to pay respects to the original with ridiculous levels of violence and an overwhelming B-movie sensibility, but a sequel which too ultimately feels nothing more than a slice of popcorn flashiness without the lingering aftershock which made the original release back in 1987 so darn re-watchable even after initial sniffy reviews back in the day. What's the point of film critics anyhow? Please continue. 

Following in the footsteps of the soon-to-be released Mile 22 by disregarding the fundamental laws of film-making by glossing over basic characterisation and seemingly hiring editors who are hooked on some sort of maniacal drug, Black's movie doesn't half move like a bullet train, hooking audiences straight into the action as a quick detour into the jungle leads onward to hidden government bases, Halloween covered schools and finally back to the jungle as our titular murderous beast gleefully tears the wide range of cannon fodder violently apart. With Black choosing to focus the heart of the action upon Holdbrook's shoulders as his character finds himself on the self proclaimed "loony bus" alongside the likes of Trevante Rhodes (Moonlight) and Thomas Jane's (The Punisher) rather forgettable but equally homicidal "troubled" soldiers, the quick quipped banter between the characters at first doesn't seem to fit with the tone of the movie whatsoever but as the movie progresses into more extreme and over the top territory, including a drastically overlong and plodding conclusion, Black's vision is clearly groundwork for an expanse into wider Predator related territory, and whilst his latest is riddled with flaws and silly mistakes, the best way to view The Predator is to understand what it fundamentally is at heart; a trashy B-movie wannabee. 

Overall Score: 6/10

Film Review: Hotel Artemis

"We've Been Here For Twenty-Two Years. This Hospital Was Built On Two Things: Trust And Rules..."

Written and directed by British filmmaker, Drew Pearce, whose previous credits include screenplays for the likes of Iron Man 3 and Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation, Hotel Artemis features a generously stellar cast set as they are whacked slap band in the middle of a dystopian riot zone and forced into the titular, secretive building where entry is gained for members only and is ran with strict rules and regulations by Jodie Foster's (The Silence of the Lambs) Jean Thomas AKA The Nurse. With flashes of neo-noir crime drama and a underlying, wacky black comedic sensibility, Pearce's movie is a strange, tonally manic mess of a movie which sacrifices plot for excruciatingly annoying characters and a narrative through line for dull set pieces, all taking place within a set location which seems to have forgotten to pay the lighting bill, and whilst Pearce in the past has worked alongside the likes of Shane Black, a filmmaker renowned for making dark comedy work successfully, Pearce's debut doesn't take any tips from his cinematic learning curve and is unfortunately a painfully dull and excruciatingly boring waste of ninety minutes in which stuff just happens without any sense of reason or point.  

With an opening backdrop which introduces a future-world Los Angeles in which privatisation of the area's water supply has sparked mass rioting and protest from the lower class of the populous, Pearce's movie follows Sterling K. Brown's (Black Panther) Waikiki after a bank heist gone wrong forces him into the Hotel Artemis, an off-the-books NHS for the criminal underworld which reeks heavily of The Continental Hotel influence from the John Wick series. Cue the introduction of Jeff Goldblum's (Thor: Ragnarok) The Wolf King, who seeks vengeance for the theft of his multi-million dollar priced jewels, and soon the action and violence breaks loose, resulting in the likes of Dave Bautista (Spectre), Zachary Quinto (Star Trek) and the ever radiant Sofia Boutella (Atomic Blonde) all flexing their action muscles in an attempt to overshadow their meaningless characterisation. With Charlie Day (Pacific Rim: Uprising) once again proving to be the most annoying Hollywood actor currently employed, Hotel Artemis fails on a fundamental movie-making level by not only lacking a straightforward central narrative, but also a movie which doesn't manage to be at all accessible or believable, and by the time the movie crawls its' way to the finish line, it almost felt heavenly to leave the seat in which I had been violently squirming in for the preceding ninety minutes. 

Overall Score: 3/10