Film Review: Godzilla: King of the Monsters

"Our World Is Changing. The Mass Extinction We Feared Has Already Begun. And We Are The Cause. We Are The Infection..."

With Gareth Edwards having the chance to bring the infamous sight of cinema’s most versatile monster to the big screen once again in 2014’s visually stunning, Godzilla, Legendary Entertainment’s so called “MonsterVerse” was thus born in an attempt to choke audiences and critics alike with yet another extended universe. With the so-so success of Kong: Skull Island back in 2017, this week sees Godzilla: King of the Monsters be released, acting as the second chapter in the fire-breathing legend’s repertoire before taking on Mr. Kong himself in Godzilla vs. Kong next year. With Edwards choosing not to return for a second outing, the directing mantle is instead handed to Michael Dougherty (Krampus) who along with an endless digital effects and explosives budget, has the absolute pleasure to work with an absolute top-notch, A-list cast, with the likes of the returning Sally Hawkins (The Shape of Water) and Ken Watanabe (Batman Begins) joined by the ever-reliable presence of Vera Farmiga (The Conjuring) and Kyle Chandler (Manchester by the Sea) for a movie which in all honesty, completely wastes the army of talent involved as it pummels you to death with endless carnage, ear-grating dialogue and a central story which rivals Geostorm for having the stupidest screenplay of the past five years or so.

Whilst it may be slightly highbrow to head into a Godzilla movie wanting something much more than just two plus hours of entire cities being dismantled by gargantuan, irresponsible titans, the fact remains that Edwards' own interpretation of Godzilla was first and foremost primarily interested in its' characters, with his movie essentially a family drama which just happened to include world destroying monsters, and whilst Dougherty's movie seems to have similar desires, woeful characterisation and exposition heavy dialogue means that in terms of an empathetic level, his movie is completely lifeless and unengaging come the forty minute mark when the army of superb acting talent is left behind in favour of endless and ridiculously overblown set pieces. With the likes of Farmiga, Chandler and the now heavily typecast, Charles Dance, all wasted, with the latter essentially playing a high-tech version of Tywin Lannister, the only two redeeming features of the piece is rising star, Millie Bobby Brown, of Stranger Things fame, who with her extended level of screen time undoubtedly gives the best performance of the lot, and of course, the monsters themselves, with the titular 'Zilla, the three headed Ghidorah and the beautiful Mothra all actually incredibly well designed, resulting in a couple of epic shots which deserve to be witnessed on the biggest screen possible. Whilst King of the Monsters doesn't hit the sordid lows of Roland Emmerich's version, Dougherty's vision is a messy, palm-inducing two hundred million dollar B-movie which should be a guilty pleasure but instead, is immediately forgettable.

Overall Score: 4/10

Film Review: Aladdin

"You Stumbled Upon An Opportunity. I Can Make You Rich. Rich Enough To Impress A Princess..."

Acting as the second Disney backed money making exercise of the year so far, with the likes of The Lion King and Lady and the Tramp still to come, Aladdin follows hotly in the footsteps of the critically trashed and solidified box office bomb, Dumbo, by once again "treating" audiences to a live-action "reimagining" of the 1992 animated classic of the same name which to many, is the ultimate Disney adventure thanks to its' outrageously memorable and Academy Award winning soundtrack and of course, the iconic dulcet tones of the late, great Robin Williams as Genie. With Aladdin circa 2019 therefore, the transition from animation to live action brings in the cinematic enigma that is Guy Ritchie (King Arthur: Legend of the Sword) as director, a bold and overly baffling decision considering the Brit's recent back catalogue, and whilst sometimes such clashes bring forth works of brilliance, it comes at no surprise that Ritchie's take on the animated classic begs the question yet again of why such a remake is necessary in the first place, and whilst Aladdin does feature some interesting and well orchestrated set pieces, all the positive elements seem to be those cherry picked from the original to an uncanny exactness with the tacked on additions only damaging a picture which falls into the same category as Dumbo; absolutely pointless.

With an opening forty minute act which ranks almost as mind numbingly dull as that seen within Dumbo, the screenplay from Ritchie and John August (Dark Shadows, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) swiftly introduces us to the main players of the piece, with Mena Massoud (Jack Ryan) handed down the titular lead role as the kind hearted, street rat who soon falls deep in love with the glowing beauty of Naomi Scott's (Power Rangers) Princess Jasmine, and whilst Scott undoubtedly has talent to burn, singing voice and all, it's ironically Massoud who nearly sinks the ship completely, with his performance devoid of all charisma or charm and supported by a vocal capacity which challenges Pierce Brosnan in Mamma Mia! for worst contemporary evidence of on-screen karaoke. With the first act almost sending me to sleep, I almost resorted to prayer at the sight of Will Smith (Bad Boys, Independence Day) as he finally marks his appearance on the big screen, and whilst his own take on Genie is undoubtedly a cross between the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Nicolas Cage after snorting contaminated cocaine in Mandy, the remaining eighty minutes seem to be no longer directed by Ritchie at all, with the film's choreographer instead enhancing the movie into a pretty fun ride, albeit one seen exactly before in the 1992 version, but with the noose already tightened and added inclusions which really don't work and only seek to stretch out the already tired runtime, Aladdin is fine but pointless and a remake which just happens to have Will Smith as the clear ace in the pack. 

Overall Score: 5/10

Film Review: Rocketman

"There Are Moments In A Rock Star’s Life That Define Who He Is. Where There Is Darkness There Is Now You, And It’s Going To Be A Wild Ride..."

Coming only months after the Academy Award for Best Actor was wrongly handed to Rami Malek for his often caricature laden and mime heavy portrayal of one of rock's greatest singers in Bohemian Rhapsody, the story of Elton John now finds its' way onto the big screen within Rocketman, a swear and drug heavy musical biopic which sees Taron Egerton (Robin Hood) take on the leading role for a movie which thankfully shows audiences what a decent biographical drama should look like. Directed by actor-turned-director, Dexter Fletcher, who ironically was handed the mantle of completing Bohemian Rhapsody after original director, Bryan Singer, was sacked for particular unruly pastimes, the London born filmmaker brings to life a joyous, often dazzling, celebration of rock and roll's most loveable figure, one which blends musical arrangements with a hard-nosed examination of the rough edges of John's early musical career, and with a whole double sided LP of top notch performances, Rocketman is a thoroughly engaging and satisfying burst of nostalgia which comes ever so close to being a work of excellence. 

With Egerton in recent years attempting to throw his once promising career into the garbage with back-to-back works of sheer awfulness in the form of Kingsman: The Golden Circle and Robin Hood, Fletcher reunites with the star after their work together on Eddie the Eagle and allows the young Brit to completely immerse himself in the character of John, a career best performance which perfectly captures the inner insecurities brought on by his sexual ambiguity and non-existent relationship with both his holier-than-thou mother and absent, war-torn father. With the central performance nailed, the screenplay also allows Jamie Bell (Filth) to shine as long-term songwriting compatriot, Bernie Taupin, alongside stand-out supporting roles from the likes of Stephen Graham (Line of Duty) and Bryce Dallas Howard (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) as John's unbelievably self-obsessed mother, and with the narrative itself played back in almost dream like fashion, this allows the movie to indulge itself in dramatic absurdities as it crosses paths between A Star is Born and La La Land as we are treated to excellently choreographed set pieces which tweak the most famous of John's back catalogue in order to expand upon his youthful endeavours. Whilst the movie is at least twenty five minutes too long and fails to maintain its' wondrous sensibility throughout, Rocketman is a lavish and extreme work of musical delirium which will suit both Elton John obsessives and those somehow unaware of his music alike. 

 Overall Score: 7/10

Film Review: Beats

"They Wanna Privatise Our Minds, Keep Us In Our Seperate Boxes..."

Following on from the likes of the excellent, Mid90s, and the not so excellent, Eighth Grade, 2019 treats audiences once again to yet another coming-of-age tale, one which trades the urban wasteland of the United States for the erm, urban wasteland of 1990's Scotland as we follow two socially isolated friends attempt to rise above their familial and personal issues through their shared admiration and love for rave culture. Directed by Scottish filmmaker, Brian Welsh, who as far as I'm aware bears no genetic ties to the infamous Irvine Welsh, Beats follows a very familiar aesthetic and tonal similarity to the latter's most well known literary work, Trainspotting, with the subsequent big screen adaptation from Danny Boyle undeniably playing a huge part in influencing a movie which tries hard but ultimately fails to have the same impact on both cinema and culture Boyle's undisputed masterpiece did back in the day. 

With the little known Christian Ortega and Lorn Macdonald in the leading roles of Johnno and Spanner respectively, Welsh's movie spends the first forty five minutes developing a loving friendship separated by social class, with Johnno's recent familial move to a fancy new build away from the harsh wastelands of Scotland's high rises and "scum" a whole different world away from the desperate upbringing of Spanner, whose strength on the outside conflicts with an inner vulnerability caused by his ruthless and sociopathic older drug dealing brother. Come the fifty minute mark however and Beats soon falls into the trap of running completely out of steam, with a central narrative involving a music and drug led revolution not interesting in the slightest, and even with a clear nod to Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, Beats begins promising but then falls down as it fails to really focus on a meaningful message. 

Overall Score: 5/10

TV Review: Game of Thrones Season Eight Episode Six "The Iron Throne"

"Sometimes Duty Is The Death Of Love. You Are The Shield That Guards The Realm Of Men...."

When it comes to the art of storytelling, one thing is for certain that whenever there is a beginning, there is always inevitably an end point, and whether that be forged by the written hand on paper or directed upon the big or small screen as a visual companion, certain works are always going to be judged by how exactly their own select story plays out. When it comes to television, you do not have to look very far away from Game of Thrones in order to see how certain conclusions immediately evoke discussion from audiences, with the likes of The Sopranos and The Wire, shows both helmed by HBO and regarded as the best of contemporary visual drama, each proclaimed as masterpieces in their own right but when highlighting both their final chapters, immediately causes particular viewers to engulf in a raging fit of dissatisfaction after years of building relationships with the show's characters and ultimately handed a conclusion they personally might not agree with. Step in "The Iron Throne", the long awaited final episode of Game of Thrones, and once again we are dealt a bookended chapter which for some may be the perfect swansong for a show we all knew would end this year and for others, is the ultimate sacrilege as it fails to pull out the hat every single piece of fan service ever seen on social media or news article in a manner which would have spanned at least another eight seasons. For me personally, Season Eight of Game of Thrones was no means perfect, with an obvious sense of drop and run from the showrunners resulting in a rather eclectic pacing and particular endgame decisions which don't entirely make complete sense, but with enough technical craft and an emotional farewell to cap off the greatest show of recent years, "The Iron Throne" was in some ways the only way such a gargantuan show could finally come to an end.   

Let's face it, the shocktastic twist of Daenerys going full Al Pacino circa The Godfather was something of which that was always going to occur, with small moments of madness creeping up in the seasons which came before resulting in a extending sense of detachment the more time I spent in the dragon Queen's company, and whilst the moment itself could have been handled slightly more delicately, Season Eight's "Baelor" or "The Rains of Castamere" moment was still a good old fashioned Game of Thrones narrative turn, resulting in an even bigger turn when Jon's decision to murder the once innocent victim sending streams of fans into fits on enraged madness, well at least on Twitter and IMDB. As for me, sure it kind of made sense, with Dany's death in a roundabout sort of way actually managing to create in full Aladdin style, a whole new world, albeit at the expense of her as Queen as she was whisked away by the world's last remaining dragon who decided to not only burn the titular Iron Throne down completely but fly off to a location unknown in order to seemingly live out the rest of his days pecking at his dead mother. Ironically, the most depressing moment of the finale was witnessing Jon pay for his betrayal by being sent back to Night's Watch, a somewhat now defunct organisation considering the now removed threat of the Night King, in a fashion which made the show at least come completely full circle, and with the remaining Stark's getting the happiness they deserve and King's Landing left in the hands of more reliable characters, Game of Thrones surprisingly ended on a heartwarming and upbeat note, and whilst the execution was by no means perfect or completely satisfying enough to proclaim it as anywhere near masterful, "The Iron Throne" was still an excellent way to tie up a show which ultimately suffered from how big it became, and whilst many will whimper at the bold narrative choices and throw their once loved DVD collections in the bin as they proclaim to never watch the show ever again, maybe it's time to take a breather and reminisce at a show which we will never see the likes of ever again. It's been an emotional journey Game of Thrones, thank you for everything. 

Overall Episode Score: 8/10

Overall Season Score: 8.5/10

Film Review: John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

"A Fourteen Million Dollar Bounty On His Head, And Everyone In The City Wants A Piece Of It? I’d Say The Odds Are About Even..."

Beginning life in 2015 as a self-assured, no holds barred, overly knowing B-movie, John Wick not only felt comfortable in bringing back well executed, genre influenced action to a Westernised audience who had been bored to tears with the same old generic blockbusters, but also a surprising cult hit which reasserted Keanu Reeves as the cinematic hero we all deserve after locating the action appeal labelled upon him during the 1990's which then somewhat vanished come the turn of the twentieth century. Wooing audiences and critics alike with his return in John Wick: Chapter Two, a second installment which expanded both the universe and the loire of Wick's rather unhinged world, the suit wearing dog lover takes centre stage once again in Parabellum, a suitably exhausting and over-the-top maniacal second sequel which picks up in a true Quantum of Solace style fashion by arriving directly after the conclusion of its' predecessor, in which Wick's decision to murder Santino D'Antonio, the antagonist of Chapter Two and a leading member of the sprawling and ethically shady, high table, on the grounds of the Continental Hotel results in him quickly becoming excommunicado from all privileges previously offered alongside a sweet fourteen million dollar bounty being placed on his shaggy-dog haired head, resulting in every hitman from across the globe suddenly hoping to catch the man of little words in their sights in order to claim such an illustrious prize.    

Helmed once again by stuntman turned director, Chad Stahelski, Parabellum takes no time whatsoever in laying down its' cards with a screenplay which expects its' audience to already be well up to speed with proceedings involving Reeves' Wick, and whilst there is a slight offering of exposition regarding the position such a character finds himself in, I clocked my watch at just over seven minutes before the film got to the sort of set piece every one heading into a John Wick movie expects from the get-go. Whether it be library books, an assortment of decorative knives or throwing axes, the opening segment of Parabellum turns the carnage and action up to eleven and never really slows down, and even when the movie attempts to expand Wick's ambiguous childhood and background by introducing the likes of Anjelica Huston (The Witches) and Halle Berry (X-Men: Days of Future Past) in supporting roles, the primary goal of the movie is undeniably to exhaust an audience expecting oodles of superbly orchestrated madness, and whilst I thought the likes of The Raid 2 and Mad Max: Fury Road could never be matched in terms of sheer cinematic outlandishness so soon, Stahelski's movie gleefully squeezes into such a pedigree level of action movie. With memorable scene after memorable scene, including one stand out section involving attack dogs which will leave you speechless as you attempt to work out how on earth such impracticalities were captured on film, Parabellum has somehow managed to make a beloved franchise even better and with Reeves seemingly not slowing down anytime soon as he hits his mid fifties, I'm up for as many Wick movies as time can allow. 

Overall Score: 8/10

Film Review: Pokémon: Detective Pikachu

"So You’re A Talking Pikachu With No Memories, Who’s Addicted To Caffeine..."

For those who happen fall into my particular age group, the original worldwide boom of Pokémon during the 1990's was something of which defined an entire generation of die hard fans eager to collect each and every rare trading card, every cutely designed and easily swallowed toy, and for me personally, play their way through absorbing Pokémon contests on many different modes of video game consoles as they developed from the brick-esque solidness of the Nintendo GameBoy to the high-tech, high definition box of tricks which make up the market today. With big screen adaptations of popular video games famously not faring too well with both critics and the box office when released upn eager audiences, recent years have at least attempted to bring some respectability to the transition, with Assassin's Creed and Warcraft my own particular cinematic saviours, and what we have with Pokémon: Detective Pikachu is a movie which although is by no means perfect, is most definitely a fan pleasing, visually satisfying solid work of child friendly drama which managed to make me laugh and gasp in awe at the world in which I was treated to, and even for someone with only a basic understanding of the Pokémon universe, was a movie which passed the time rather splendidly. 

Directed by Rob Letterman, a filmmaker with a knack for successfully cultivating generic family adventure movies in the ilk of Goosebumps and Gulliver's Travels, Detective Pikachu boasts not only one screenwriters but four, and whilst nowadays it can be usual practice for a movie to have a whole army of different thoughts being put onto paper, Letterman's movie undoubtedly suffers as a consequence of such a decision, with the central murder mystery narrative not exactly worth the time or effort come the final revelation in which every left turn greets us with a twist which even the softest of minds can see from around a mile off. Where the film does overwhelmingly succeed however is in the world in which the narrative plays out, with its' Blade Runner esque, neo-noir futureworld featuring enough neon lights to short circuit most counties whilst beaming with cute Pokémon at every corner which resulted in many of the fellow cinemagoers rightly exclaiming their delight at witnessing their favourite digital characters materialise upon the big screen. With a well designed leading Pikachu featuring the comedic tones of Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool 2) and a well meaning, optimistic sensibility, Letterman's latest is by no means a classic, but with enough positive elements to pass the time nicely, Detective Pikachu is another step in the right direction for big screen video game adaptations. 

Overall Score: 6/10

Film Review: Vox Lux

"One For The Money, Two For The Show, Three To Get Ready, And Four We Go..."

Directed and written by actor-turned-director, Brady Corbet, Vox Lux sees the American return to the big screen after the critical success of 2015's, The Childhood of a Leader, for a bizarre, sometimes masterful, ideas-heavy drama which blends a whole catalogue of themes and satirical subtexts around a central narrative which focuses entirely upon the character of Celeste Montgomery, the survivor of a brutal mass shooting at her school at the turn of the twentieth century who soon finds worldwide fame and fortune in the musical industry after the song she writes for her fellow fallen students goes viral. Boldly coined by the marketing team as Black Swan meets A Star is Born, Corbet's movie does indeed have incidental flashes of familiarity from both, but with its' own individual identity and a strange and overly knowing holier-than-thou, art-house sensibility, Vox Lux is that type of auterish, pretentious work of boldness which tends to divide both audiences and critics alike, and whilst Corbet's movie does indeed suffer at times from choosing to rely more on it's very flashy and expertly designed surface over meaningful plot or characterisation, the American's second big screen venture is a highly original and memorable work of nonsense which grabbed my attention from the offset and never let go. 

Split into two very different narrative halves, the first act of Vox Lux begins with a Sunset Boulevard style voiceover, helmed of course by the dulcet and very familiar tones of Willem Dafoe (Spider-Man) as we are dropped into the early life of Celeste, as played in younger form by the excellent Raffey Cassidy (The Killing of a Sacred Deer) as we see her attempt to reason with her fellow student who goes through with his plan to carry out a mass school shooting, an opening set piece so expertly and horrifically orchestrated I sat jaw-dropped for a good five minutes through the opening credit roll. As we progress through Celeste's sudden rise to fame in the pop world, we are introduced to Jude Law's (Captain Marvel) passionate music manager and Celeste's close relationship with her older sister, Ellie, as played by Stacey Martin (High Rise) who both play a part in the doe-eyed victim slowly becoming less and less innocent as she opens her eyes to the wider and more glamorous side of the world in which she lives. Cue a significant time jump and the second act of the movie sees Natalie Portman (Black Swan) take on the role as the elder Celeste, a now world famous, significant figurehead in the music industry suffering from a steady blend of alcoholism, narcissism and broken relationships including that of her sister and young daughter, Albertine, also played in excellent fashion once again by the impressive Cassidy. Whilst I understand the commentary regarding the effects of fame and social pressures wholly evident in the film's second act, Portman's performance is so vile and infuriating (in a good sense) that come the final act, Corbet's movie becomes more and more agitating, and whilst I expect that this is undoubtedly the effect Vox Lux attempts to evoke upon the audience, it's jarring sensibility is both intriguing and detracting, resulting in a movie which is one of the more original works of the year so far, but boy, is it hard work. 

Overall Score: 7/10

TV Review: Game of Thrones Season Eight Episode Five - "The Bells"

"Far More People Love You In Westeros Than Love Me. I Don't Have Love Here. I Only Have Fear..." 

With the penultimate episode of previous seasons of Game of Thrones infamously being the designated chapter for when stuff truly goes down, one could argue that the blockbuster, non-stop action which has been constant throughout Season Eight thus far doesn't really offer the same sort of salivating desire fans previously would expect, with the show's final curtain being laced with death and destruction from the offset with no real time for contemplation or mulled thought. With the attack on Cersei and King's Landing an inevitability as soon as Daenerys and her forces landed on such a side of the Seven Kingdoms, "The Bells" brought to life one of the most explosive and murderous rampages seen on the show's entire run, an eighty minute cinematic spectacle which completely abandoned the early philosophy of the show's run by harbouring the death of leading characters as a slight, off-hand side note, but made up for such weaknesses with a sure handed technical savviness and narrative choices which although have sure been divisive amongst both fans and critics alike, served an absolute purpose which for me personally, made complete narrative sense. At the end of the day, Game of Thrones is simply a television show with boobs, dragons and zombies which just happens to have millions upon millions of die hard fanatics, and whilst many may see the events of "The Bells" as simply a step too far in the wrong direction, I thought the second to last episode of the show was pretty damn fine indeed. 

Whilst it would almost take the length of a dissertation to wade through each individual character arc which ended in deathly fashion this week, the opening act in which the conniving treachery of Varys finally came to a fiery end was something of which was always going to come to fruition, and whilst in hindsight, the bald headed eunuch may indeed have been correct about the stability of his once lauded after Dragon Queen, now really wasn't the time to start a royal coup in any shape or form. With everyone now seemingly well aware of Jon's true heritage and Tyrion once again betraying his Queen as he solemnly and rather beautifully aids Jamie's escape in order for him to see Cersei one last time, the combination of hardship and distrust which has built up in Daenerys for so long finally blows over by the time we finally arrive at King's Landing, where even with her most loyal aids pleading with her to embrace mercy at a time of great peril, the Dragon Queen finally becomes the Mad Queen with one swift dragon-fuelled rain of fire which turns King's Landing quickly into ash.Was such a rash course of events something out of the blue I hear you ask? For me, absolutely not, with Daenerys showing signs of hardship, cruelty and at times, an unhinged desire for power no matter the cost, with her temperament, personality and whole character so clearly destined for such atrocities for quite a significant while now. As we all say farewell to some significant players from the show, no matter what you may think of "The Bells" on a narrative front, the technical side of the episode was absolutely stunning, with the effects, the deft, one-shot camera movements and the sound all combining in a masterful synch to create an episode which is as memorable as it is thoroughly divisive.  

Overall Episode Score: 9/10

Film Review: Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile

"There Are Things You Don’t Know That Will Shock You Beyond Your Worst Nightmares..."

When it comes to searching Hollywood for A-List stars who adequately fit the bill for portraying an infamous mass murderer, the annoyingly charming Zac Efron (Baywatch) isn't exactly the first person that comes to mind. Following in the footsteps of Charlize Theron who famously won the Academy Award for her transformative performance in Patty Jenkins' 2003 crime drama, Monsters, Efron puts aside the nice-guy image for a cinematic re-imagining of the life of Ted Bundy, the cold hearted serial killer, kidnapper, necrophile and self-proclaimed sociopath who ran riot throughout America during the mid 1970's. Based on The Phantom Prince: My Life with Ted Bundy by Bundy's former girlfriend, Elizabeth Kendall, and directed by American filmmaker Joe Berlinger, Extremely Wicked sees Berlinger return to the topic of Ted Bundy after his work earlier in the year with the Netflix distributed, Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes, and whilst dramatic works always seem to entice a larger audience rather than their documentary counterparts, there is no doubting that the inclusion of Efron opens the door for many more people to have a basic understanding of the single-handed crime spree that was Mr. Bundy. 

Whilst Berlinger undoubtedly finds the figure of Bundy remarkably interesting as a contemporary case of just how bad human nature can turn inside just one person, Extremely Wicked annoyingly fails to bring such dedication and obsessive levels of detail to the big screen, with the screenplay at the centre of the drama failing to delve anywhere near past the initial surface of Efron's character as we skip through the beginning of his relationship with Kendall, as played by the marvelous Lily Collins (Tolkien), and the various court proceedings which take place as he finally comes face to face with the justice he truly deserves. Whilst the central relationship between Kendall and Bundy is only minimally developed, it is the performances which really set in stone the crazed bond between the two, with Collins once again outshining her male counterpart after doing so previously in Tolkien, as we observe the faithfulness and guilt-filled resentment of her character as she watches her beloved be accused of crimes beyond the realm of human plausibility. With an electric pacing which zaps the drama rather sharpish towards the finish line, such luxuries ultimately take away any chance of meaningful depth, particularly when it comes to a deeper understanding of Bundy's actions and the many cases brought to court, and for someone with only a brief awareness of the name, the character and the killings, Extremely Wicked is suitably fine for a cliff notes version of one of America's most infamous twentieth century characters, but for real substance and clarity, the documentary will undoubtedly be much better served. Your choice. 

Overall Score: 6/10

Film Review: The Curse of La Llorona

"Have They Heard Her Crying? Have They Felt The Sting Of Her Tears? They Will, And She Will Come For Them..."

Winning the award for most unpronounceable title of the year so far, The Conjuring universe returns once again to the big screen like a distressed, lost puppy eager for ticket sales with The Curse of La Llorona, a ridiculously silly and scare-free cinematic cliche which attempts to build on the Mexican folklore of the same name. Produced by franchise stalwart, James Wan, and directed by American filmmaker, Michael Chaves, in his big screen debut after a succession of short films, La Llorona sees the usually reliable Linda Cardellini (Green Book) as Mexican-born social care worker, Anna, who after investigating the disappearance of a past client's two young children, falls under the murderous spell of the titular "weeping woman", a CGI heavy, poorly designed spectre who soon takes a liking to her two young children still reeling from the death of their father. Whilst audiences and critics alike are now totally clued up in regards to what to expect from a franchise as unreliable and uninspiring as the one in which La Llorona sits, one has to take some form of nostalgia by remembering just how darn good both The Conjuring and The Conjuring Two actually were, but with the likes of Annabelle and The Nun clearly showing how such a series may have stretched a point slightly too far, Chaves' debut unsurprisingly nestles nicely with the latter as it fails to ignite any sense of intrigue whatsoever.  

Beginning in familiar horror movie fashion by attempting to rationalise the decision behind the main antagonist's desire for death, La Llorona soons falls into the trap of offering up cliche after cliche as the primary threat is harnessed through endless jump scares, a tactic of which doesn't exactly pay off as such well versed genre tropes come across as neither surprising or in any way scary, resulting in heavy sighs every time the sound system in the cinema gets a good old test run as we are mistreated to cranked up violins or the endless wailing of our titular ghostie. With the film falling into the Sinister trap by showing way too much way too soon in regards to the evil at the heart of the drama come the hour mark, the film also soon loses all sense of originality completely, resorting to repetitive, dull and thoroughly uninteresting set pieces which all seem to be designed in order to justify the ninety minute runtime, but with no sense of threat or dread at all as it plays towards a very middling and family friendly conclusion, the scariest part of The Curse of La Llorona is that such a film was actually made in the first place. 

Overall Score: 4/10

Film Review: Tolkien

"It’s A Story About Journeys, The Journeys We Take To Prove Ourselves. It’s About Adventures..."

If Led Zeppelin arguably brought The Lord of the Rings to the big screen by mixing the fantastical mythology of Tolkien with good old fashioned rock and roll, then in a roundabout sort of way, we can all thank the South African born writer for influencing the greatest band of all time in the first place, and whilst there is unsurprisingly a significant lack of Robert Plant or Jimmy Page in the aptly named, Tolkien, this week, such a film would have actually suitably benefitted from the rock god wails of the latter or the chunky, heavy guitar riffs of the former. Directed by Finnish filmmaker, Dome Karukoski, the early life of J. R. R Tolkien marks his first venture into English language film, and whilst the experiences of one of the world's most revered writers makes some sort of sense to be idolised in a cinematic capacity, Tolkien unfortunately fails to hold a candle to the incredible life of the titular war hero, a movie filled to the brim with many interesting ideas but one which ultimately fails to balance the weight of them effectively enough to be labelled a success, resulting in a jumbled mess of a drama which can't make the executive decision to stay on one set path and thus annoyingly becomes stranded in no man's land in a last ditch attempt to bring some sort of memorability to proceedings. Unfortunately for Karukoski and co, Tolkien is anything but memorable. 

Planting the youthful, straight-headed figure of Nicholas Hoult (The Favourite) in the leading role, Karukoski's movie begins proceedings by placing Tolkien in the heart of battle as he attempts to survive the disease and blood-ridden wastelands of trench warfare during the Battle of the Somme, and whilst the film's trailers promised an intriguing blend of fantasy and biographical drama, the constant transition and wavering throughout Tolkien's own early life chapters means that the movie can never really set its' mind on what it ultimately wants to be. With the drama setting up early moments of loss and hardship as we witness the Tolkien brothers move into the confines of adoption, we are soon introduced to both fellow members of the Tolkien coined Tea Club and Barrovian Society and fellow orphan, Edith Bratt, as played by the wonderfully talented Lily Collins (Rules Don't Apply) who continues to evoke her inner Audrey Hepburn with the best performance in the movie, one which radiates beauty and undeniable charm. Annoyingly however, the film takes these two differing subplots and puts them to battle against each other, and as we move through elements of coming-of-age style drama, romance and war, Tolkien doesn't expand on any enough effectively to leave you feeling adequately rewarded, and add into the mix a yawn-inducing pace and a complete editorial nightmare, Karukoski's movie is unfortunately not enjoyable enough as a standalone biographical drama or pleasing enough for those after an insight into anything The Hobbit related, and even with the excellence of Collins in one of the leading roles, Tolkien is unfortunately an opportunity missed. 

Overall Score: 5/10

TV Review: Game of Thrones Season Eight Episode Four - "The Last of the Starks"

"You Are My Queen, Nothing Will Change That. And They Are My Family. We Can Live Together..."

Yep, that's right, get over it. No matter how many times I read a somewhat negative perspective on last week's spectacular ninety minute battle, the fact still remains that now winter has come and gone, such a resolution was always going to satisfy particular viewers whilst actively enraging the rest who wanted this theory to come true to and this person to do that, and whilst Game of Thrones Season Eight undeniably seems to be suffering from The Last Jedi syndrome of not giving in to the wishes of the disillusioned hardcore who are determined to see their beloved show end exactly the way they want, the closer we get to the final endgame of the narrative, the more I am actively enjoying it. Beginning with a fiery farewell to the fallen, the mourning survivors are given absolutely no time to rest, or in one of the more infamous goofs of the show so far, enjoy a tasty Starbucks (registered trademark) and whilst the wine, the jokes and the erm, unexpected romance and marriage proposals threatened to push the show into soap territory, "The Last of the Starks"  managed to jumble together some of the most interesting and tense-lade set pieces of the series so far. With the show in its' early years criss-crossing a dramatic blend of The West Wing meets Lord of the Rings, the fourth chapter in this divisive concluding season actively felt more "classic" Game of Thrones, utilising genuine surprises and interesting developments to make an eighty minute runtime once again absolutely fly by.

Of the more interesting narrative threads, the war is over but another one has just begun, and whilst it seemed for a time that the Northerners and the Dragon Queen would indeed be successful at playing some low-key form of happy families, her precious dragons and depleted armies seemed to mean absolutely sod all to the ever-annoying Sansa, who in her power playing game of frowning her way through the remaining episodes seemed to either have missed out on her daily dose of antidepressants or has been directed to come across as the most unlikeable Stark ever to have lived. With Jon's heritage exposed quicker than a celebrity nude in the Twitter generation, what an absolutely dire mistake it seemed to be to make even one person aware of his true bloodline, with not only the whole of the North seemingly made aware within the space of one episode, but Tyrion and Varys too, with the latter once again chopping and changing allegiances quicker than Littlefinger in the hope that after all this time, Jon may actually be a more efficient ruler. Speaking of chopping, alongside the return of the cocky, murderous Bronn which brought the episodes most interesting set piece, let us all take a minute and wave a fond farewell to Nathalie Emmanuel, whose understated and charming performance as Missandei ended in proper Game of Thrones fashion with a battle-ready final line and of course, one less head, and whilst the show has lost one of the more innocent and harmless central characters, her death signifies a turn in the tide with there now no room for bartering, no cares for surrenders and as we all pretty much expected, war, lots of war. 

Overall Episode Score: 9/10

Film Review: Long Shot

"I’m Going To Try And Conduct Myself In Such A Way That Does Not Risk Global Humiliation..."

Mixing together the almighty and Oscar winning talent of Charlize Theron (Mad Max: Fury Road) with erm, Seth Rogen, (The Interview) Long Shot is the latest from American filmmaker, Jonathan Levine, who reunites with Rogen after their work together on the 2011 comedy drama, 50/50, for a romantic comedy which attempts to balance political and social satire with a well-worn tale of unlikely and improbable love. Based around a screenplay from the double-act of Liz Hannah and Dan Sterling, famous for their individual work on the likes of The Post and The Interview respectively, Long Shot is that rare sight in contemporary cinema, an American comedy which actually works, and whilst the central romance at the heart of the story does indeed venture into gargantuan levels of cliche come the end of the almost two hour runtime, Levine's movie works predominantly elsewhere, with a mix of knowing, and at times, strikingly unintentional, modern-day satire, pleasantly supplementing a likeable and utterly charming core relationship, one which gleefully bursts with volcanic levels of chemistry and pushes the final product into something which although might not be at all memorable, is rather enjoyable.

Coined in the trailer by one of the film's supporting actors, the one and only, O'Shea Jackson Jr., (Straight Outta Compton) as having a very familiar central narrative to that of Garry Marshall's 1990 classic, Pretty Woman, Levine's movie at least jumbles up the profession of the leading characters, with Seth Rogen's Fred Flarsky not exactly the first person to come to mind when it comes to the prostitution business, with him instead being landed with the role of an idealistic, rough-edged journalist with a penchant for thinking out loud, a character trait of which soon finds him unemployed and penniless. Enter Theron's Charlotte Field, the highly popular Secretary of State with eyes for the presidency who in her earlier teenage years used to babysit a young and lovestruck Flarsky, and the two suddenly reconnect after Field utilises Flarsky's innovative written word to boost her appeal to the American public. With worldwide trips on the menu, the two suddenly become attached to each other by the hip, resulting in the film's central and heartwarming romance, and with an abundance of hilarious set pieces, including one of the best inverted sex scenes in cinema history and a heavy night on the town which results in a majorly mistimed hostage negotiation, Long Shot goes along way to make you care for the film's characters, and even with a runtime which does slightly drag come the final act, Levine's movie is a solid slice of American comedy cheese with added Charlize Theron. 

Overall Score: 6/10

Film Review: Greta

"I Think There's Something You Need To Know About Greta..."

In a year stuffed with superheroes, sequels and the reprise of extended franchises, once in a while a particular film comes along which sticks its' neck out and screams something along the lines of, "and how, here's for something completely different." In the case of Greta, the latest from Interview with the Vampire and Byzantium director, Neil Jordan, such a film can immediately be considered as a glorious slice of B-movie nastiness, a stalker-based, chiller-thriller which although sticks wholly between the genre field posts without offering anything exactly new to a very well-worn narrative, is powered primarily by two superb central performances who in their attempts to add a sense of seriousness to the silliness, propel the movie into a unashamedly tickly guilty pleasure. With the likes of the excellent and little seen Burning earlier this year proving how the Hitchcock template of minimalistic tension continues to work wonders within contemporary cinema, Jordan's movie evades such delicacies and heads straight into Cronenberg-esque levels of eerie, off-kilter madness, and whilst Greta isn't exactly the mainstream option for those not bothered with intergalactic superhero warfare, is still a movie with more than enough to enjoy, or for those more on the squeamish scale of humanity, at least endure. 

Based around a story from Case 39 and The Crazies screenwriter, Ray Wright, Greta follows Chloë Grace Moretz (Suspiria) as Frances McCullen, a grieving young waitress who after the sudden death of her mother has come to live with her best friend, Maika Monroe's (It Follows) fitness obsessed, Erica, in the heart of New York City. Attempting to keep afloat her strained relationship with her absent father as she goes, Frances suddenly begins a blossoming friendship with the titular Greta, a lonely, longing and seemingly upper class French woman who herself is suffering from an absent relationship with her estranged daughter, and whilst the world is rife with actors and actresses who may have done an excellent job with such a role, there is only one person to turn to when a filmmaker needs an ambiguous French femme fetale; Isabelle Huppert. After her barnstorming performance in Paul Verhoeven's rather memorable, Elle, the train to the Isabelle Huppert love-in has well and truly been boarded, and with a central performance which expertly balances comedy with shocktastic horror, her ability to make the most of what is a rather generic thriller plot, pushes Greta into another gear completely and partially covers over the glaringly obvious narrative weaknesses. Add into the mix set pieces which will make even the sternest genre fans gulp with shock, Jordan's latest is no means a classic, but for those after something a slightly bit different, Greta is solid, squeamish stuff with an excellent central relationship between two top-notch actors. 

Overall Score: 6/10