Film Review: John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

"A Fourteen Million Dollar Bounty On His Head, And Everyone In The City Wants A Piece Of It? I’d Say The Odds Are About Even..."

Beginning life in 2015 as a self-assured, no holds barred, overly knowing B-movie, John Wick not only felt comfortable in bringing back well executed, genre influenced action to a Westernised audience who had been bored to tears with the same old generic blockbusters, but also a surprising cult hit which reasserted Keanu Reeves as the cinematic hero we all deserve after locating the action appeal labelled upon him during the 1990's which then somewhat vanished come the turn of the twentieth century. Wooing audiences and critics alike with his return in John Wick: Chapter Two, a second installment which expanded both the universe and the loire of Wick's rather unhinged world, the suit wearing dog lover takes centre stage once again in Parabellum, a suitably exhausting and over-the-top maniacal second sequel which picks up in a true Quantum of Solace style fashion by arriving directly after the conclusion of its' predecessor, in which Wick's decision to murder Santino D'Antonio, the antagonist of Chapter Two and a leading member of the sprawling and ethically shady, high table, on the grounds of the Continental Hotel results in him quickly becoming excommunicado from all privileges previously offered alongside a sweet fourteen million dollar bounty being placed on his shaggy-dog haired head, resulting in every hitman from across the globe suddenly hoping to catch the man of little words in their sights in order to claim such an illustrious prize.    

Helmed once again by stuntman turned director, Chad Stahelski, Parabellum takes no time whatsoever in laying down its' cards with a screenplay which expects its' audience to already be well up to speed with proceedings involving Reeves' Wick, and whilst there is a slight offering of exposition regarding the position such a character finds himself in, I clocked my watch at just over seven minutes before the film got to the sort of set piece every one heading into a John Wick movie expects from the get-go. Whether it be library books, an assortment of decorative knives or throwing axes, the opening segment of Parabellum turns the carnage and action up to eleven and never really slows down, and even when the movie attempts to expand Wick's ambiguous childhood and background by introducing the likes of Anjelica Huston (The Witches) and Halle Berry (X-Men: Days of Future Past) in supporting roles, the primary goal of the movie is undeniably to exhaust an audience expecting oodles of superbly orchestrated madness, and whilst I thought the likes of The Raid 2 and Mad Max: Fury Road could never be matched in terms of sheer cinematic outlandishness so soon, Stahelski's movie gleefully squeezes into such a pedigree level of action movie. With memorable scene after memorable scene, including one stand out section involving attack dogs which will leave you speechless as you attempt to work out how on earth such impracticalities were captured on film, Parabellum has somehow managed to make a beloved franchise even better and with Reeves seemingly not slowing down anytime soon as he hits his mid fifties, I'm up for as many Wick movies as time can allow. 

Overall Score: 8/10

Film Review: Hellboy

"We Faced Every Threat There Is, And Yet You Take Me In. You Made Me A Goddamn Weapon..."

Adding itself onto the esteemed list of cinematic remakes which not one single person in the entire galaxy ever asked for, the "re-imagining" of the stump-headed, Hellboy, hits the big screen this week, offering a fresh interpretation of the charismatic, blood-red superhero famously first seen on film thanks to the now Academy Award winning, Guillermo Del Toro, back in 2004 and again in its respective sequel four years later. With the project beginning life back in 2014 and first propositioned once again to Del Toro who ultimately turned the chance down to return to directorial duties, the reigns have been handed down to Newcastle-born, Neil Marshall, whose early excellent exploits in the form of Dog Soldiers and The Descent, both interesting and memorable B-movie splatterthons, resulting in the Geordie moving onto the likes of Game of Thrones among other high-profile projects. With a new director comes too, a new leading star, with the magnanimous Ron Perlman being replaced with Stranger Things star, David Harbour, who gleefully takes up the chance to embrace the lead role, and whilst Hellboy circa 2019 takes a more bloodthirsty and radically adult approach to the infamous spawn of hell, Marshall's movie is not just one of the worst remakes ever to be plunged into existence, it is undoubtedly one of the tackiest, cringe-laden so-called "blockbusters" I have ever had the displeasure of fidgeting through in recent memory.

With an opening monologue which attempts to add a semblance of backstory as we are introduced to Milla Jovovich's (Resident Evil) poorly designed and not so threatening Blood Queen, the deep-voiced dulcet tones of Ian McShane (John Wick) actually made me wonder whether what I had voluntary walked into was actually a massive Hollywood April fools joke which just happened to be just over a week old. Unfortunately this clearly was not the case, with the sudden appearance of Harbour's hairy Hellboy proving that instead, what Marshall has created is an cinematic abomination of scarily hilarious proportions which can only be described as Pan's Labyrinth meets Gods of Egypt as directed by Paul W.S. Anderson. With awfully timed humour, bare-bones level digital effects and a sense of immature rankness which takes pleasure in needless levels of exploitation gore, Hellboy in other, sensible hands may actually have been a semi-decent R-rated, nerdgasm-esque guilty pleasure in the ilk of Deadpool or the more serious and memorable, Logan, but with a central script featuring pig-headed demons with terrible scouse accents, zero sense of threat and attempts at characterisation which hit new, unprecedented levels of awfulness, Marshall's decision to remake a well regarded supernatural superhero franchise clearly should have been prevented from the offset, and with an ending which points at the possibility of a sequel, the fact that Hellboy was the closest I have ever come to completely walking out of the cinema means that such a dream will most definitely not be coming true anytime soon. Absolutely dreadful. 

Overall Score: 2/10

Film Review: John Wick: Chapter Two

"You Stabbed The Devil In The Back. To Him This Isn't Vengeance, This Is Justice..."

Along with The Raid movies in 2011 and 2014 respectively, 2015's John Wick stands up there as a prime example of how to do an action movie properly in modern-day cinema, utilising the somewhat distant characteristic of everyone's favourite Lebanese export by creating a stone-cold merciless killer and placing him in the middle of a quite admirable neo-noir backdrop which offered the opportunity for the titular retired hitman to kill as many bad guys as humanly possible. Where the original thrived in the best use of a handgun since Michael Mann's Collateral, with the thrilling action set pieces akin more to tightly packed choreographed dance scenes than just mindless free fire, the main pulling power of the original was the B-Movie-esque straightforward storytelling of the movie, one which at no point attempted to be something more than just a classic action adventure, inevitably resulting in a much more enjoyable thrill ride than one might have previously thought. As per the norm of current cinematic climates therefore, the success of Wick inevitably has brought with it a sequel, one which once again features Reeves in the leading role and a movie which actually manages to surpass the quality of its' predecessor, featuring bigger set pieces, cooler kills and a heightened sense of sheer lunacy which creates a sequel which takes the OTT nature of the Wickverse all the way up to eleven. 

Following on almost immediately from the conclusion of the first film, Chapter Two heads straight into the action-packed territory everyone in the audience seemed to expect, highlighting Wick's reunion with his dearly departed vehicle after a mildly intense car chase, a bout of tough hand-to-hand combat battles, and a peace treaty with guest star Peter Stormare, who chews the scenery portraying the sheepish relative of Wick's foes from the first movie in a theme-setting opening ten minutes. Although more stylised than the first movie, Chapter Two also ramps up the levels of violence depicted on-screen, with its' titular character using everything from high-powered weaponry to an everyday pencil in an attempt to kill as many cannon fodder as humanly possible. In the leading role, Reeves too seems to have found peace with the character, having fun where necessary in a performance which is once again low on dialogue but ripe in complete bad-assery from start to finish. Whilst the plot is pretty straightforward, the ambiguity and strangeness of the underworld nature of Wick's world is intriguing enough to carry the film to a conclusion which inevitably leads on to the certainty of a sequel, yet if the levels of quality continue to be as superb as Chapter Two, I look forward to see what eventually comes around next. 

Overall Score: 8/10

Film Review: Grimsby

"It's An Elephant Bukakkee!"

Halfway though Grimsby, the new comedy from the warped mind of one Sacha Baron Cohen, I remembered quite vividly how the satirical undercurrent of Borat, the more-than controversial piece of cinema which attempted to upset everyone from the Jewish community to American feminists, saved the film from swaying into simple bad taste, with Cohen's standpoint on the strange society of the USA being the fundamental notion at the heart of the comedic elements throughout the film. One of the most startling scenes in Borat is when our titular character ventures into the rodeo-ridden area of the south and speaks to a range of people voicing their rather right-wing opinions regarding everything from the strangeness of homosexuality to the war on terror. It's a surreal scene, one that portrays a old-fashioned society with a fundamental set of norms and values that are inherently wrong. Enter Grimsby, a film that shows what Borat may have indeed become, a film, which although believes it is some sort of standpoint regarding the culture of the working class, is indeed a film rife with bad taste. That doesn't mean it isn't funny though. 

Although Grimsby is undeniably and fundamentally a shoddy movie, one that consists of ear-scraping dialogue and cringe-worthy plot developments, the set pieces which attempt to out-gross one another as they come along during the films' more then generous 90 minute runtime have a stark repulsiveness of which I have to admit I couldn't help but laugh at. The infamous elephant scene for example is a five minute vision of vulgarity, one that although inherently reeks in bad taste, is so over-the-top and ridiculous that in a strange subverted kind of way, you have to admire its' wrongfulness. It's not offensive in a Borat style comedic element, its' just plain wrong, much like the existence of the film itself. Albeit's sheer ludicrous script, celebrity cameos and archaic treatment of the female characters within the film, Grimsby still manages to come off as strangely mediocre, neither awful, neither good, just here to make up the box office top ten within the week of Oscar supremacy. Grimsby is like a fart in the wind; repulsive to begin with yet slowly evaporating into non-existence. Sacha Baron Cohen's latest isn't the worst way to spend 90 minutes, it just isn't the best either. 

Overall Score: 5/10 

Film Review: John Wick

A Rigorous Return for Reeves

Ever since the release of The Raid and The Raid 2, my expectations of what can be achieved in an action movie has been well and truly raised, with those two films being the standout features in an ever-increasing genre over the course of the past few years. Now we have John Wick, featuring Neo himself as the titular character, hell bent on revenge after Russian gangsters steal his ride and kill his Beagle puppy, given to him by his late wife in order to cope with her recent death. John Wick is a lot of things, but The Raid it is not. It's still pretty darn fun though.

Featuring Reeves' best performance since, well, forever, John Wick oozes style from the get-go, with its' ultra-violent tendencies sometimes endangering it from going full on comic-book, which on the face of it, isn't bad at all, particularly when looking at the absurd violence in the wonderful Kick-Ass, and it is here where the level of violence is in John Wick is kept at. Not too violent, but violent enough. Add into that strong but subtle performances from Willem Dafoe and  Ian McShane, John Wick has enough substance to partner the rather obvious style well. And it rocks.

Yes, it may adhere to some of the generic action movie tropes, but John Wick is highly enjoyable throughout the course of its' 100 minute runtime, featuring the most effective use of a handgun since Collateral, and solidifying Reeves' return into action-movie stardom. Sequel in the works I hear? Bring it.

Overall Score: 8/10 

Hercules (2014) - Can you smell what Hercules is cooking? - Review - SPOILERS

Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson is back, semi-naked and as big as ever. We all know Johnson isn't an actor that can play a role in the calibre of Dicaprio's Wolf of Wall Street or 12 Years a Slave's Chiwetel Ejiofor. Raised in the WWE(F), he was always going to be a showman, a man of the people if you will. Action was his forte and that is where he belongs. Tag him in for Expendables 4 and we're in for a treat. If Stallone would like to get him, that would be wonderful.

Moving on. Hercules isn't really the Hercules many of us have seen in the past. Obviously we have followed him take on the giant evils of the world from the Hydra to the Nemean Lion but now we have glossed over them. To avoid the typical remake, they showed Hercules after these events. A mere mercenary driven away from Athens due to the death of his family which was detailed as a murder by him. Obviously, this is not true. If you couldn't have guessed that from the off-set, you really need to start watching some decent TV. As a mercenary, Hercules and his entourage are called upon by the King of Thrace to defend the land from the a dark tyranny in the civil war but all doesn't really go to plan. Plot wise, the story is nothing extreme. Yeah, there's a few twists and turns but its nothing we haven't already seen.

Previously I spoke about The Rock's acting. Obviously it wasn't wondrous. Although I'm aware he passed out several times while filming the scene with the chains which he requested to be iron to make it feel real, it seems like an attempt to appear as a better actor than he really easy and wasn't a very extreme moment to watch. Often enough, I didn't feel that Johnson really had the vocal depth to really do Hercules justice, especially on a battlefield. To be completely frank, the general acting was actually pretty poor. Ian McShane was alright and fairly funny at points but in the reality of things, he couldn't carry as cast that look as if they are just there for some fun. With American Horror Stories Joseph Fiennes I expect a lot more from someone which such credible material behind them but with a character that walks like a moron whose arms have locked into the stupidest position imaginable and has a back-story of the characters from 50 Shades of Grey, I can't pin all the blame on him.

Because I may be worth it

The real reason Hercules is going to make money is because its an action movie. Although I have to give fair warning that in the 90 minute film, the last 30 minutes were where the action became truly enjoyable. With the attack on a settlement of bewitched corpses, I can't understand how repetitive and simple it all is. Considering Hercules tropes around with a damn club and completely ignores the enormous blade he has hanging around his cart, you would think that this club is something magical but its neigh on useless against a bloody horde. One instance, which somehow made it through into the cinema was one of the corpses running at the King. It appears that someone decided to max out the contrast button and then add a splash of faeces and PVA him onto the silver screen onto to be splatted away seconds later. At points the visuals were decent but the incredibly bad instance is something that haunts producers and directors and none of them actually picked up on it.

A half decent story, a cast of actors who don't really act, alright action and visual incidents resembling that of the inside of a lab monkey's cage all seem like really bad ideas to see this movie. Although Hercules stands as a movie that is so bad, it's good. The last 30 minutes were actually decent in general and Ian McShane's inevitable death was somewhat ruined in the trailer but if you really fancy something where you can watch Dwayne Johnson shout a lot, this is the movie for you. I may be being a little extreme on the whole thing but the movie seems like a 6/10 for me.