TV Review: Game of Thrones - Series 5 Episode Nine "The Dance Of Dragons" SPOILER ALERT

Dungeons and Dragons

The curse that has befallen on the ninth episode of any Game of Thrones series has led to it having more expectation and hype than any other around it, even its successor, the season finale, which tends to deal with the aftermath  of events that happen in the previous episode, a strange, if brilliant, way of managing a TV show. With the excellent quarter of an hour that concluded "Hardhome", episode nine was bound to pick straight up from where we left off, and boy does it. In fact, "The Dance of Dragons" is hands down the most bloody, most intense, and simply the best episode of Season Five, with a final act that concocted a mixture of emotions beginning with sheer horror and concluded with tears of joy as I beheld the sheer awesomeness that was occurring on-screen. Game of Thrones, you've outdone yourself once again. 

Before that final act is dissected and discussed, one of the most disturbing deaths in the entire Game of Thrones history must be recognised, with Stannis giving in to the wishes of Melisandre and handing over the life of daughter Shireen to the Lord of Light via a The Wicker Man-esque death by fire in order to gain a supposed military advantage in the fight against the Bolton's at Winterfell. As soon as Stannis gave that heart-felt speech about saving Shireen's life right back at the beginning of Season Five, something was bound to happen, particularly when Melisandre first asked for such a sacrifice and although at first, refusal was the clear option for Stannis, Ramsey's attack on their food and supplies forced him into a decision that was indeed sinister, but in the long run, may be necessary. Don't get me wrong, the death was incredibly horrific with kudos to Kerry Ingram whose final screams made the scene both ear-splitting and difficult to watch, but may also be the turning point for Stannis and co in their battle to obtain the Iron Throne. Unless Davos returns and kills him first, which would be justified to say the least. 

Elsewhere, Jon Snow returned to Castle Black after the battle at Hardhome with the wildlings, much to the disgust of pretty much everyone there, whilst Jamie and Bronn were released from captivity in Dorne, much to the horror of Ellaria Sand who was forced to yield to the wishes of her King. Although it has been great to finally see the surroundings of Dorne this season, it feels like that particular storyline has been one of the weakest with not much actually occurring when you think about it. But hey, we still have one more episode to go don't we? Weird scene of the week went to Braavos where Meryn Trant highlighted his desire for seemingly underage girls, all while Arya was plotting her revenge against him, a scene which most definitely will occur next week. Bring it. 

And now, that final scene. Wow. If Gladiator-esque battle scenes weren't enough for you, then how about a massacre, redemption, and a flippin' dragon? At first, I can safely say I was rather confused when Jorah decided to launch that blade in the direction of Daenerys, but to see it strike a member of the Sons of the Harpy, my expression was swiftly changed from confusion to, "oh s**t" with Dany and co, including Tyrion, being massively outnumbered by the murdering onslaught bearing down on them. Amidst all the madness however, we said goodbye to Hizdahr , and welcomed back Jorah into the land of the friend-zone, with Dany seemingly finally accepting his apology in a time when she definitely needed it most. As soon as Dany and co were surrounded however, it was inevitable Drogon was set to appear in proper Hollywood fashion, and that he did, spraying fire as he majestically flew down and air-lifted Daenerys to safety. And then, it was over. And breathe. Although "The Dance of Dragons" may not have lived up to the mouth-gasping efforts of previous episode nine entries such as "The Red Wedding" and "Baelor", it was a masterpiece in its' own right, with intense action sequences, heart-wrenching deaths, and dragons. What more do you need? 

Overall Score: 10/10

Film Review: Insidious: Chapter Three

Alone In The Dark

Looking back at the career of Leigh Whannell so far, there is a solid enough amount of evidence to argue that the hugely annoying norm of "cattle-prod" cinema that infests our cinemas and classes itself as "horror" nowadays is essentially pretty much his own doing. Bit harsh, yeah, but with writing credits that include the Saw series, Dead Silence, and the first two Insidious movies manifesting from his own mind, I think I have a partial leg to stand on. Maybe not, but hey, when you delve a bit deeper and look at his constant affiliation with James Wan, the argument gets a tiny bit stronger when we see The Conjuring and Annabelle added to that list. The plot thickens. But enough of my hatred anyhow, as now we have Insidious Chapter 3, a new film in the series of "horror" flicks that should  never have got past the first film, which in all honesty I did kind of actually enjoy but was then subsequently angered by the turgid sequel that swiftly followed. But now we have a prequel to the first film once again featuring Lin Shaye who reprises her role as eerie ghost whisperer, Elise Rainier, but the real question is, how much of a boring, stinker of a film can it possibly be? Well to be honest, its' kinda spooky. 

When teenager Quinn (Stefanie Scott) disregards all previous rules of horror flicks and attempts to contact her dead mother, she inadvertently makes contact with a creepy, seemingly asthmatic demon who seeks to bring her to the depths of hell or wherever that place is that looks a lot like the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks, without the dancing dwarf of course. Enter Elise Rainier (Lin Shaye) who is subsequently tasked with preventing such evil deeds from occurring whilst avoiding her own fate of death from the rip-off  Jennet Humfyre, i.e. the Woman in Black. Even in the plot synopsis you can see how many cliches, rip-offs, and stolen scenes are used to lesser effect within Insidious Chapter 3, with elements of The Exorcist, Poltergeist, and The Shining all appearing in some shape of form during its' 90 minute runtime, but there were certain moments in which it proper freaked me out and where the use of a cattle-prod was put to one side for the time being, and for that I can safely say, was particularly pleasing to see. It may not have been as good as the first, but Insidious Chapter 3 is leagues better than its' predecessor making it a solid, if rather similar, entry into the horror canon. 

Overall Score: 5/10 

Fallout 4 - REVEAL TRAILER - Skyrim goes nuclear

I'm a bad man when it comes to Fallout. My first and only experience of the series was Fallout 3, not long after I got my first Xbox 360. The time I spent within the game was very little, in fact I gave up as a merely lost track of what I was actually doing. Today is the day I realise I should get back into it.

So if you've lived under a rock the past few months, you would know Bethesda have been teasing something. No one was quite sure until yesterday when a Fallout styled timer appeared across their social media platforms and low and behold, we got a trailer.

The plot is one that reflects the series however, what drives that narrative is unknown. Hopefully we shall see some more information arrive when E3 is in full swing.

What do you think? Do the graphics look the part? Let us know in the comments below

Film Review: Danny Collins

Back In The Saddle

The Godfather. Heat. Dog Day Afternoon. Scarface. Al Pacino has had one heck of a career wouldn't you say? His portrayal as Micheal Corleone in The Godfather Trilogy is undeniably one of the greatest on-screen portrayals of a character I think I have ever seen where we witness the transformation of a reluctant war-hero in Part One to the all-out evil, if tragic, crime lord in Part Two. I could go on all day about Pacino's filmography so far but for now it is time to concentrate on his latest offering, Danny Collins, a comedy/drama featuring Annette Bening (American Beauty), Jennifer Garner (Dallas Buyers Club) and Bobby Cannavale (Boardwalk Empire). With the recent Pacino offerings which have been let's say, not exactly brilliant, I went into Danny Collins hoping it was a return to form and its' fair to say, Pacino is back once again. 

When aging rock-star Danny Collins (Pacino) receives a letter written to him by John Lennon in the early 1970's, he decides to change his repetitive, drug-infused, cash-ridden lifestyle for the better and repair past mistakes which have haunted him for years including his son, Tom (Cannavale) of whom he has disregarded for the past 30 years. There is a line in Danny Collins in which the titular character states that he hasn't written a song for forty years, and its' here where the probably unintentional similarities between Pacino and his character begin with Pacino himself not being in a film of much merit for at least a decade, whilst the redemption the character of Collins desperately seeks during the course of the film can easily be attributed to Pacino also, with Danny Collins seemingly acting as sold ground for Pacino to return to some sort of form. And this he does with aplomb, with Pacino being undoubtedly the best thing in Danny Collins, so much so that every-time he appeared I felt like I could watch him for years.

Supported by Annette Bening and Christopher Plummer, Pacino propels Danny Collins into a charming and sweet comedy drama of which may have suffered if it failed to have the screen presence of someone like Pacino as its' lead. Although the script may be pretty familiar territory with plot points being rather predictable, the sheer magnetism of Pacino makes Danny Collins into something better than I had originally expected. A return to form for Pacino? Most definitely. Seek it out. 

Overall Score: 7/10

Film Review: San Andreas

Appetite for Destruction

If there were still any doubt that 2015 was indeed year of the blockbuster, then you only need to look at the release of San Andreas, an annoyingly over-advertised disaster movie set in the sun-soaked state of California starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Carla Gugino. and Paul Giamatti, whilst being directed by Brad Peyton, whose back catalogue of directorial credits include classic films such as Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore and Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Ha, no. So, any good you ask? Proceed with caution, it might get rough.

When it comes to movies such as San Andreas, there is always a recipe for disaster (pun intended) which tends to include fundamental and key box-ticking traits in order for it to be classed as a success. For example, one of these characteristics include the introduction and development of certain characters who we follow throughout the destruction that ensues all around them which whilst is off killing waves of incidental human life that the audience usually don't really care about, seems to miraculously spare our beloved heroes and heroines. In the case of San Andreas, these characters are manifested into the body of Chief Raymond Gaines (Johnson), a man so extraordinary it was surprising not to see him declare himself as part of the Avengers during the ease-filled nature of not only ripping a car door from it's hinges, not only being able to hot-wire everything and anything in his path, not only being able to breath underwater for what seemed like an eternity, but to also keep the same expression regardless of the situation in which he appears. I mean, I love The Rock, but it is painstakingly obvious after watching San Andreas that dramatic, expressionist acting is not a career path he should be aiming for.

The golden word that came to mind whilst watching San Andreas was cringe with it being filled to the rafters with cliche after cliche due to its' simply dire script in which the two English characters are made to look like court jesters whilst American hero Dwayne Johnson pretty much portrays God. Do I care for him and his family? Not one damn bit. Top comedy marks however go to the inclusion of Kylie Minogue who overtakes Rita Ora as top contender for worst cameo of the year in a scene that filled me with unintended laughter inside, whilst worst parent of the year goes to the stupid mother who leaves her child on top of the Hoover Dam in a scene which looked good on the surface in terms of effects, but ultimately fell into the black-hole of emptiness that was the films' depth and substance, a phrase that pretty much sums up the entirety of San Andreas. 

Aside from all the negativity, there are some good points that should be mentioned. Paul Giamatti is the best thing in it in terms of acting whilst the sheer scale of destruction that is depicted on screen makes the battle at the end of Man of Steel look like a typical teenage tiff, emphasising the notion that if its' spectacle you want, San Andreas definitely delivers. So all in all, bring the popcorn, leave your brain at home, San Andreas is many things, an insult to your brain, a symphony of destruction, but one thing is for sure, its' only a bit-part player in the catalogue of blockbusters that make up 2015 in film. 

Overall Score: 4/10

Hatred - Quicky Review - Just because you can, doesn't mean you should...

You've most likely heard of Hatred if you have anything to do with the gaming circles. News of the so-called hyper violent top-down shooter couldn't have arrived at a worse time. This is because Hatred places you as a mass-murderer. Given a multitude of weapons, your only aim is to kill and massacre everything in some sort of holy crusade. When news broke about this, there were several mass school shootings and murders , so this glorification of violence to this degree has struck quite a few nerves. Understandably, the game thrived because of the controversy, as did GTA in it's fledgling years, but Hatred took it a step further. By claiming that they have creative freedom, they appealed to a lot of the hardcore free-speech members of the internet gaming community but was it really necessary? My opinion, not really. Its a bit insulting to say such a thing when you know your games only aim is to kill innocent people without an ounce of sympathy with an extremist. Without any justifiable story behind the character or why you pursue the actions, the game is simply senseless. It doesn't help that the achievements are rewarded for killing people, more specifically cops with certain achievements rewarding you for over 1000 kills.

The so called story is that our nameless lead hates the world. Everyone else is evil and inherently bad and the world must be cleansed. With little quips and quotes eerily reminiscent of an extremist, its a god given crusade. I hate it. Over top-down shooters have a form of narrative no matter how simple. This is really just killing people for the shit of it. Is it ground breaking for gaming? No. Its not innovative and its not creative. Levels are lacklustre, the art style is fitting but requires polish and the system is slugish. With a recommended settings such as 8GB of RAM and a multitude of others, the game is slow. It assaults the system with specs that are exuberant of what it should really be. Its poor optimization means that the framerate plummets and the game lags behind. My gaming laptop is nothing short of expensive and powerful for what it is but to have an issue running a top-down shooter is absurd.

As I mentioned above, the level design isn't great. Repetitive corridors, streets and homes with a few explosive barrels indicate what to shoot and general movement through them is hampered when you keep getting stuck on trees or in doorways. Everything looks very copy and paste and the art works makes the game a nightmare to play.The black and white often blends the aiming cursor meaning its almost impossible to see at the best of times. Not including the fact that its general movement speed is awful. Our lead is a combination between She-Hulk and Medusa with long black hair that flails around frantically at walking pace and gets even worse when running faster than Usain Bolt and a voice that grates more than Steve Buscemi's teeth. Other than that. The guns and general action were quite good but the AI is atrocious. Planned to make it easier to kill? I don't know but when you have simple civilians wandering around without a care while you murder the rest of the population, you would think running away would be the basic reaction. Nope, they run at you and nudge you along gently in their efforts. Then finally the set pieces. I never realised how poorly constructed American homes were. Everything falls apart on a blocky fashion, as if the walls are only made of plywood from a single round of buckshot. 

As a shooter, Hatred could have been a great game. With a few tweaks and a major overhaul of its premise, it may have been far more enjoyable. I agree with the argument for freedom of creation but just because you can do it, doesn't mean you should. The creators should really take a step back and look at what they've done. They have caused a big stir and put themselves on the map for the time being but as an independent group, funding will run dry and its employees may struggle to get work when they're associated with this project that they all seem to be so proud of.

Overall the game is a bit of a disappointment. I wasn't expecting the release trailer to show the complete introduction to the game and I was really hoping for something that had an interesting story to coincide with its dark premise and at least give some sort of reasoning or next level philosophy. Instead I was caught up in they hype for a generic shoot-em up that used shock to sell a game that is glitchy, poorly optimized, slow and unnecessary.Because its on release and there has been about 3 updates since I came off yesterday, I can't attack its optimization solely so the game gets 5/10. Its no Hotline Miami and its certainly not worthy of its fame, much like Kim...

TV Review: Game of Thrones - Series 5 Episode Eight "Hardhome" SPOILER ALERT

Fight of the Living Dead

Oh yeah, that was the episode everyone has been waiting for. After weeks of not much going down aside from the soap-esque drama that we all have come to know and love in the land of Westeros, we were finally treated to one of Game of Thrones' greatest and freakiest battle scenes ever in the history of the show so far. A battle between the living and the dead was always set to appear in the imminent future of GOT but I hardly expected it to come so soon or in such brilliant fashion, with the white walkers/zombified dead being both terribly frightening and relentless in their desire to kill everything that stood in their way, even Jon Snow. It comes to light how unforgiving a show GOT has become when every fight scene with the top-billed characters always carries a sense of unease with it, something of which I feel can not be attributed to any other show currently on television. If films like Lord of the Rings and most recently Interstellar are examples of the cinematic experience being pushed to the limits of what can be accomplished, then GOT is definitely the prime blueprint of what a show designated for a role on the television can become with its' acting, sound, cinematography and effects all being pushed to the realm of excellency in the last twenty or so minutes in this latest episode of one of TV's greatest ever programmes. 

Aside from the battle of Hardhome, fans were finally treated to the forging of Lannister and Targaryen when the first official meeting between Tyrion and Daenerys took place in Meereen, with the latter accepting the former's opportunity to provide her with aid during her rule as Queen, whilst we finally put the "break the wheel" speech seen in the trailers to context when Tyrion argued there was no true aid for Daenarys across the Narrow Sea. In Winterfell, preparations were beginning from House Bolton for Stannis's inevitable invasion of the North which I suspect will be the basis of next week's episode, whilst Reek finally let Sansa know that both Rickon and Bran were very much alive after admitting to killing two others during his taking of Winterfell back in Season Two. Finally. In other news, suffering continued for Cersei during her stay in one of those lovely looking (not) cells whilst Arya continued her training in Braavos. With storylines intertwining and impending battles gaining pace, the next two episodes of Game of Thrones are set to be as epic, if not more, than this week's offering. Bring it. 

Overall Score: 9/10